The West Side (Seattle/Tacoma/Olympia), China, Jordan, Utah, South Korea, Idaho, Albania, Taiwan, Wyoming, Southwest Washington (Vancouver/Portland), Saudi Arabia, Louisiana, Alaska, and Maryland. Those are just some of the places from which our neighbors in our apartment complex have come.
Nearly three years ago, our family set out on an adventure . . . moving from the Midwest to the Great Northwest. My husband had always wanted to be a professor, but he needed a Ph. D. After much prayer for God to tell us where he wanted us to go, and to be clear in His answer, we discovered that he wanted us in the thriving metropolis of Pullman, Washington (where we had no family or friends)! You know. . .Pullman, Washington, the Lentil Capital of the World?! Don't worry; we didn't know that either until a friend of ours informed us of that before we departed. Anyway, we got here and what a beautiful place! It is a small town of 27,000 that sits on rolling hills. My mom described the scenery as "endless golf courses". While we were able to go home for the Christmas/New Year's holidays a few months after we moved here, and we hoped to go back during the following summer, but our lack of money did not allow it. Little did I know that we were in for a treat. We spent the summer hanging out at the playground directly behind our building. It did have an interesting beginning as it snowed on June 10, 2008 Crazy!! But, I digress. . .
Perhaps hanging out at the playground does not seem that interesting, but it was because it was during those beautiful warm sunny days (with low humidity) that we began forming new friendships. Since Pullman is a small college town, it is very transient in nature. People don't move to the other side of town (like in my hometown), they either move in or move out of Pullman. With that said, it is common to meet people, spend lots of time with them, and then watch them move away just nine months later. Ironically, I posted a blog entry entitled, "This is Not My Home. . ." with regard to that very thing, two years ago almost to the day (June 27, 2008). Anyway, these friendships that we were forming on the playground would prove to be different. You see, many people/families have come and gone, but there has been a core group of us, of different races/nationalities, that arrived around the same time and will be leaving around the same time. This year, summer in Pullman has seemed to get a late start, so it has been difficult to catch up with everyone and what is going on in their lives. It is amazing how it gets so crazy during the school year (with school, work, and snow) that you can actually go weeks and months without ever seeing your neighbor. So, this past Saturday, we were all out and about enjoying the absolutely beautiful weather. Someone threw out the idea of getting together for a potluck-type barbecue this upcoming weekend. What a fantastic idea!! But then a bit sadness came over me because I realized that our time together is winding down. Next summer will prove to be very different as many of us (if not, all) will graduate, find jobs, and move away. The probability of us all settling down in Pullman is pretty much like. . .zero. But what makes my heart ache is that the probability that we will all see each other again is also pretty low. While globalization has taken this world by storm, (and I could be wrong) but I just do not see us all making frequent trips to China, South Korea, Albania, or Saudi Arabia. You know what I mean? So, I'm looking forward to our cookout this coming weekend, but my heart will be a little heavy as I have an idea of what the near future holds.
But, perhaps the cure for this heavy heart of mine is to think rather about how the Lord answered the prayers of my heart in the first place. As an African-American, I believe it is important to spend time with other African-American people, but at the same time, it is also very important to me that my children form friendships with all kinds of people (after all, we are all God's creation). While Pullman is a predominantly Caucasian town, the Lord sent us to our apartment complex that is so diverse, it has been dubbed, "The UN". He answered my prayer!Since He answered that prayer, I know He will answer other prayers. I hope we will all look back on this time together, amidst the stress of class, exams, new additions to our families, poverty, (etc.) as a beautiful and memorable time in our lives. And if we are unable to see each other again, that they will remember our family as one who strived to love them with the love of God.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
My Earnest Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for being who You are-Almighty, Sovereign, Holy, Loving, Faithful, Merciful, Gracious, Forgiving, and Awesome, just for starters. Thank You for sending Your Son Jesus to suffer and die for all of my sins. Thank You for waking me up and allowing me to see yet another day. Thank You for Your providence and Your protection. Thank You for my husband, my children, my mom, my dads, my brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, friends, and church family. I realize that I was created for You. I am nothing without You. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit this day. As I read and study Your Word today, please give me understanding, wisdom, and discernment. Please give me all that I need to apply and obey Your Word. I pray that You forgive me of my sin and bring to light any sin I have so that I may lay it at the foot of Your cross, immediately. I pray that as I spend more time with You in Your Word that my heart will become more aligned with Yours-that my heart would break for the things that break Your heart; that Your desires would be my desires; that Your plans would be my plans, and the things that bring You joy would also bring me joy. Finally, I pray that the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control that You show toward me would flow through me to others with whom I come in contact so that they all may know You. May You be glorified in all that I think, say, and do. . . in Jesus' name, Amen.
Thank You for being who You are-Almighty, Sovereign, Holy, Loving, Faithful, Merciful, Gracious, Forgiving, and Awesome, just for starters. Thank You for sending Your Son Jesus to suffer and die for all of my sins. Thank You for waking me up and allowing me to see yet another day. Thank You for Your providence and Your protection. Thank You for my husband, my children, my mom, my dads, my brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, friends, and church family. I realize that I was created for You. I am nothing without You. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit this day. As I read and study Your Word today, please give me understanding, wisdom, and discernment. Please give me all that I need to apply and obey Your Word. I pray that You forgive me of my sin and bring to light any sin I have so that I may lay it at the foot of Your cross, immediately. I pray that as I spend more time with You in Your Word that my heart will become more aligned with Yours-that my heart would break for the things that break Your heart; that Your desires would be my desires; that Your plans would be my plans, and the things that bring You joy would also bring me joy. Finally, I pray that the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control that You show toward me would flow through me to others with whom I come in contact so that they all may know You. May You be glorified in all that I think, say, and do. . . in Jesus' name, Amen.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The Call to Obedience (part II). . .
Recently, I watched a DVD of a church service during which the Pastor and the congregation prayed for/commissioned a small group of men that they are sending off to begin a new ministry. Also, during the service, this group of men shared their very moving testimonies of how the Almighty God changed their lives. While they all had different stories, there was a common thread that ran through all of them. They all had come face-to-face with their sin. They could no longer run or hide from it. Once they did that, they repented of their sin and surrendered all to Jesus, allowing the Holy Spirit to now rule their lives. Ironically, I have rencetly gone through a similar situation. I trusted Jesus Christ for my salvation years ago and I even considered myself to be living for Him. It was not until my entire life (recently) seemed to be falling apart that I cried out to the Lord and He showed me the problem or problems. It was as if He opened my eyes and exposed my sin for what it really was. Again, I have been a Christian for years, but there has always been this battle within me: self-sufficiency and doing my will versus allowing Christ to be Lord over my life and surrendering completely to His will. While I desired deep in my heart the latter, it was the former that often won out. After asking God to search my heart and bring to light the stuff that was not pleasin gto Him, He did exactly that! He brought to light my pride, selfishness, disobedience, and just out and out rebellion. It was like I was blind but then I could see. The Holy Spirit brought me face-to-face with my sin and I could not deny it.
In the early chapters of the book of Ezekiel, the prophet Ezekiel was sent to the children of Israel to warn them of God's wrath and judgement upon them because of their wickedness. Ezekiel did exactly what God told Him to do. He knew the ways of the children of Israel. He had witnessed first hand their worship of other gods, for example. However, in chapter 8, it was as if Ezekiel got a more in-depth look at their sin as God put His Spirit upon Ezekiel and lifted him between earth and heaven to show him the depths of their wickeness. Everytime God would show Ezekiel the abominations of the house of Israel, God would tell him to turn again so that he could see "greater abominations". The impression I got from the Scripture is that to describe these abominations as vile would be putting it mildly, yet the house of Israel was blind to their sin. For the life of them, they could not figure out why God had left them. After showing all of this to Ezekiel, chapter 8 verses 17 and 18 read:
And He said to me, "Have you seen this, O son of man? Is it a trivial think to the house of Judah to commit abominations which they commit here? For they have filled the land with violence; then they have returned to provoke Me to anger. Indeed they put the branch to their nose. Therefore, I also will act in fury. My eye will not spare nor will I have pity; and though they cry in My ears will a loud voice, I will not hear them.
Perhaps you are thinking, "That's good information, Malaika, but what is your point?" My point is this: God loves us and He has generously extended His grace and mercy to us. As I stated in my previous post, He is Holy and therefore, He cannot be in the presence of sin. Many of us, Christians and non-Christians alike, may be blind to the sinful lives we may be living. The sin may run so deep or we may have become so comfortable in our sin, that we do not see it and need God's Holy Spirit to reveal it to us. As a nation, like the house of Israel, we continue in our idolatrous, prideful, rebellious ways and we do not realize how offensive it is to God. We need "His eyes" in order to see and once we do, we must turn from our ways. If we continue in our "abominations",however, I believe God's fury will come upon us-individually and/or collectively.
For those who have ears, hear the call. . .
Friday, April 30, 2010
The Call to Obedience. . .
A few years ago, I was reading (somewhere) about Jim Bakker, the former televangelist who went to prison as a result of the PTL Ministries scandal. Why was I reading about Jim Bakker? I think I was surfin' the Net at work or something like that. But anyway, what I learned was that prior to going to prison, he had never read the Bible in its entirety. It was not until he went to prison that he read the Bible, in its entirety, at least three times. It was then that he realized that many of the things he had preached as leader of PTL Ministries, were incorrect-taken out of context. On one hand, I was shocked! I wondered how many pastors, ministers, ministry leaders (etc.) are out there that have not read the entire Bible. On the other hand, I understood perfectly. At the point that I read whatever it was about Jim Bakker, I had been a Christian for nearly 20 years and I had not once read the Bible in its entirety. I had tried, on a couple of occasions, but I always go stuck (and quit) in Leviticus and Numbers-not the most riveting books of the Bible, in my opinion, but essential in learning about Our Most Holy and Righteous God. So, out of obedience, I have begun again on the journey. I tried reading it in 90 days but I got behind on the second day. I just could not keep up. I am embarrassed to say when exactly I began reading the Bible (all the way through) again because I am not yet finished (and I should be). . .so I won't. BUT, I will say that I successfully made it through Leviticus and Numbers AND with some understanding.
Jim Bakker also mentioned seeing the big picture, in a sense, understanding God's incredible love for us, as a result of reading the entire Bible. I can totally relate to that! The other thing I was amazed about is the level of obedience demonstrated by the men and women of the Bible. From Genesis to Joshua, I was astounded by the leaders' strict obedience to God. So many times I read of God telling a person or a group of persons (i.e. the children of Israel) to do something and they simply did it. "Simply" does not meant that the tasks were simple. I know that working to build the ark for 100+ years was no simple undertaking. Rather, these men (and women) knew it was our Lord God speaking to them, they trusted them, and did what He said without question. Now, that's impressive! Now while I do include Moses in this list of obedient leaders, he did make some mistakes here and there. For example, I had always known that Moses did not get to actually cross over into the Promised Land with the children of Israel as a result of a sin he committed, but I never knew what his sin was exactly. Well, the answer to that question lies in the book of Numbers chapter 20. How ironic is that? Anyway, the children of Israel were in Kadesh and they began to complain (yet again) to Moses and Aaron about the lack of water to drink. Moses and Aaron then fell on their faces and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. Numbers 20:7-12 reads:
Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, "Take the rod; you and your brother Aaron gather the congregation together. Speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water; thus you shall bring water for them out of the rock, and give drink to the congregation and their animals." So Moses took the rod from before the Lord as He commanded him.
And Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock; and he said, "Hear now, you rebels!" Must we bring water for you out of this rock?" Then Moses lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their animals drank.
Then the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not believe Me, to hallow me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them".
Did you get it? Did you catch what Moses' sin was? To be honest, I did not at first. I had to read it a couple of times, and then read it from a different Bible with additional commentary. God told Moses to speak to the rock and then it would yield water. Instead, in frustration and anger, Moses yelled at the children of Israel and hit the rock twice. Since water came out of the rock for the children of Israel and their animals to drink, most would conclude, "all's well that ends well". But that is not the case because he hit the rock (twice) rather than speak to it, as God said, Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land.
Can you believe God did that to Moses after all he had been through with the children of Israel, not to mention all the other times in the past he had indeed obeyed God? Well, at first, I must admit I thought God was a little harsh on ol' Mo. But then I remembered that God is a Holy and Righteous God. He is our Heavenly Father and He commands our obedience, because, hands down, His ways are always best. As with our own children, if they do not obey us, there are consequences for their choices.
I think we have embraced God's message of grace and mercy to a dangerous point that we dismiss His call for obedience. Perhaps you think, as I did at first, "So, Moses hit the rock instead of speaking to it, is it really that deep?" Well, yes it is actually, but the enemy (satan), along with our flesh had done a really good job of desensitizing us to that fact. God is Holy. He does not tolerate nor can He be in the presence of sin. For even God separated Himself (briefly) from Jesus Christ as He bore our sins on the cross.
So, perhaps you are wondering what our next steps should be. First, we need to fall on our faces before the Lord with praise, adoration, and thanksgiving for His incredibly abundant grace and mercy. For it is only by His grace that He has not utterly destroyed us because of our extreme disobedience (personally and collectively) and our lackadasical attitude toward obedience to Him.
Next, repentance is in order. Repent for when you have flat out disobeyed God and did your own thing. Repent for when you have only partially obeyed God, which is really disobedience. Repent for when you have compromised or not taken His Word seriously.
Then, we must pray. Hebrews 4:15, 16 says:
For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
We cannot live a Christ-centered life of obedience and submission to God in our own strength. We can only do so with the help of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. Pray that He will give you His strength to be obedient, and He will. John 14:14 says:
If you ask any thing in My name, I will do it.
What an awesome promise for help in living a life totally obedient to God!
Finally, do what He has told you to do. James 1:22-25:
But be doers of the word, and hot hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mierror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.
So, go forth in obedience. . .
Jim Bakker also mentioned seeing the big picture, in a sense, understanding God's incredible love for us, as a result of reading the entire Bible. I can totally relate to that! The other thing I was amazed about is the level of obedience demonstrated by the men and women of the Bible. From Genesis to Joshua, I was astounded by the leaders' strict obedience to God. So many times I read of God telling a person or a group of persons (i.e. the children of Israel) to do something and they simply did it. "Simply" does not meant that the tasks were simple. I know that working to build the ark for 100+ years was no simple undertaking. Rather, these men (and women) knew it was our Lord God speaking to them, they trusted them, and did what He said without question. Now, that's impressive! Now while I do include Moses in this list of obedient leaders, he did make some mistakes here and there. For example, I had always known that Moses did not get to actually cross over into the Promised Land with the children of Israel as a result of a sin he committed, but I never knew what his sin was exactly. Well, the answer to that question lies in the book of Numbers chapter 20. How ironic is that? Anyway, the children of Israel were in Kadesh and they began to complain (yet again) to Moses and Aaron about the lack of water to drink. Moses and Aaron then fell on their faces and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. Numbers 20:7-12 reads:
Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, "Take the rod; you and your brother Aaron gather the congregation together. Speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water; thus you shall bring water for them out of the rock, and give drink to the congregation and their animals." So Moses took the rod from before the Lord as He commanded him.
And Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock; and he said, "Hear now, you rebels!" Must we bring water for you out of this rock?" Then Moses lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their animals drank.
Then the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not believe Me, to hallow me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them".
Did you get it? Did you catch what Moses' sin was? To be honest, I did not at first. I had to read it a couple of times, and then read it from a different Bible with additional commentary. God told Moses to speak to the rock and then it would yield water. Instead, in frustration and anger, Moses yelled at the children of Israel and hit the rock twice. Since water came out of the rock for the children of Israel and their animals to drink, most would conclude, "all's well that ends well". But that is not the case because he hit the rock (twice) rather than speak to it, as God said, Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land.
Can you believe God did that to Moses after all he had been through with the children of Israel, not to mention all the other times in the past he had indeed obeyed God? Well, at first, I must admit I thought God was a little harsh on ol' Mo. But then I remembered that God is a Holy and Righteous God. He is our Heavenly Father and He commands our obedience, because, hands down, His ways are always best. As with our own children, if they do not obey us, there are consequences for their choices.
I think we have embraced God's message of grace and mercy to a dangerous point that we dismiss His call for obedience. Perhaps you think, as I did at first, "So, Moses hit the rock instead of speaking to it, is it really that deep?" Well, yes it is actually, but the enemy (satan), along with our flesh had done a really good job of desensitizing us to that fact. God is Holy. He does not tolerate nor can He be in the presence of sin. For even God separated Himself (briefly) from Jesus Christ as He bore our sins on the cross.
So, perhaps you are wondering what our next steps should be. First, we need to fall on our faces before the Lord with praise, adoration, and thanksgiving for His incredibly abundant grace and mercy. For it is only by His grace that He has not utterly destroyed us because of our extreme disobedience (personally and collectively) and our lackadasical attitude toward obedience to Him.
Next, repentance is in order. Repent for when you have flat out disobeyed God and did your own thing. Repent for when you have only partially obeyed God, which is really disobedience. Repent for when you have compromised or not taken His Word seriously.
Then, we must pray. Hebrews 4:15, 16 says:
For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
We cannot live a Christ-centered life of obedience and submission to God in our own strength. We can only do so with the help of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. Pray that He will give you His strength to be obedient, and He will. John 14:14 says:
If you ask any thing in My name, I will do it.
What an awesome promise for help in living a life totally obedient to God!
Finally, do what He has told you to do. James 1:22-25:
But be doers of the word, and hot hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mierror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.
So, go forth in obedience. . .
Sunday, January 31, 2010
I Just Can't Keep It In Any Longer!
Perhaps some of you have been reading my blog and have thought I have become a bit "too preachy" or I have turned into this "religious nut job", or maybe some of you think, "'Bout time. . .she's finally got a clue!". Whatever the case, it's okay . . . I just can't keep it in any longer. What am I talking about? I am talking about God and His goodness. He has been so good to me and I so don't deserve it! For years, he has protected me, provided for me, tolerated my ridiculousness (just to name a few things), and I have just taken Him for granted. My life has been all about me, but no longer. . .I am ready to live wholeheartedly for Him. Why now?? He has shown me how awesome He is and how undeserving I am of His awesome-ness.
If you look back at my blog post from June 8, 2009, you will find a story about how I learned of a blood clot in my right arm during the last few months of my pregnancy. Even as of that date, things could have played out any number of ways, but just seven days later, my baby was born healthy with NO complications! Praise God!! Before I left the hospital to go home, I had another ultrasound of my right arm which showed that the blood clot was still there. It had not moved or changed in any way.
Fast forward to the end of July, I went for my post-partum visit at the doctor's office where (suddenly) I had some kind of near-fainting episode and was experiencing some pain in that right arm again. So, I was told to go the ER. Not sure what the near-fainting thing was about, but the ultrasound of my arm showed that the blood clot was still in my arm. . .unchanged.
About a month later, I go to see a Hematologist. Since I had been told (initially) by my OB to stay on my anti-coagulant medication until 3 months post-partum (September 15), the Hematologist recommended that we wait to do another ultrasound of my arm closer to that date. My ultrasound was set for Friday, September 11. As the that date quickly approached, I began praying earnestly that the clot would go away (the body is supposed to dissolve blood clots, the medicine is supposed to keep the clot from moving to other parts of the body). I was watching The 700 Club at the beginning of the week. This was Labor Day week and the folks at CBN have a concentrated time of prayer during that week of every year. They pray and fast for their ministry, and the needs of other people. They also do it in remembrance of when they first came on the air and just a few hours before, they did not have enough money to come on the air. As a matter of fact, they had missed their original air time due to lack of money. After some intense prayer and fasting, someone made a hefty donation and they were able to air their first show. I know many people are not fans of Pat Robertson, but one has to admit that is a pretty amazing story.
I was moved by that story and decided to pray and fast for healing of the blood clot in my right arm. September 10 was my day to pray and fast. So, these were the Scriptures that I used to pray "back" to the Lord, if you will:
James 5:16b-The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
Matthew 17:20, 21- "So Jesus said to them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you ahve faith as a mustard see, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there', and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting."
John 14:13, 14-And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name I will do it.
Ephesians 3:20-Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations , forever and ever. Amen.
During that time, I wondered what if God did not remove the clot. After all, there are many people that I have prayed for who have had cancer, for example, and they died. . .what about that? God does not always do what we ask. Then, what am I trusting Him for? I realized that unlike what many are preaching today, we are trusting God to do what is best for us. I mean, He is the God of the Universe and He created us, so He probably has a really good idea as to what is best for us. See, God's primary desire for us is not necessarily that we get our dream home, get the perfect job, make a six-figure salary, have the perfect marriage with the perfect kids, or be in perfect health. God's primary desire for us is that we become like Christ, His Son. Let me repeat, at the top of God's list for us is for our character to develop into that which is like Christ's. Philippians 2:5 says "Let this mind be in your which was also in Christ Jesus".
The next day, September 11, I went to have the ultrasound of my right arm and the ultrasound tech said that the clot was still there. She went on to say that at that point, it would probably be considered "chronic". It would take a while for it to dissolve if at all. I must admit, I was really disappointed but I praised God anyway. I had prayed and fasted and had others to pray, so I know He heard. I concluded that although I disagreed, He knew this was what was best for me. So, what had I learned? The presence of the clot taught me to number my days, to be appreciative of everything, everyday!! And so none of this was in vain.
The next week,Thursday, September 17, I was laying on my bed. I had just finished feeding my daughter and dozed off. I did too and suddenly, I was startled by not being able to breathe. I could not get any air. . .I was suffocating ( I couldn't even cough)!! And as suddenly as it came on, it went away and I could breathe again. That was incredibly strange, to say the very least. Then, later that evening, I wondered if I should get another ultrasound, but decided I would wait.
Fast forward to Tuesday, November 17, I called the doctor because I had (again) been experience some pain in my right arm, but this time for about four days straight. I even asked for prayer from my Sunday School class two days before. The doctor told me to go to the hospital to get yet another ultrasound of my right arm. This was another ultrasound tech and I asked her if she could see the clot because I was having trouble seeing it. She said, " I don't see anything. . .but we still have some more veins to go". When she was done, she said, "All of your veins are open. . .there is no clot there. " Oh my goodness, I was amazed. . .to say the very least! I shared the news with my husband, my mom, and one of my brothers, and a couple of friends, but I was really waiting on the "official" report from the Radiologist. Two days later, I got confirmation. The clot was GONE! I don't know about you, but I KNOW God healed me of that clot. Perhaps you think it just dissolved, but let me ask you this: what is the likelihood of that clot dissolving in two months when I had had ultrasounds every month since I was diagnosed with it in March and each showed that the clot had been unchanged? Well, I'll tell you. . .it didn't dissolve. God allowed the blood clot that was in the brachial vein of my right arm to pass into my lungs (causing me to suffocate) and then away WITHOUT killing me. I went to see my doctor for a follow-up appointment on December 1 and she checked my lungs (the clot was not there). She told me that I could discontinue using the medication. If the clot were in any other part of my body, it would certainly cause more problems, but I am fine. God has healed me and I didn't deserve it!! But then, I've never deserved anything that He has ever done for me. Understanding that, I realize that my life is not my own. . .I am here to do whatever God created me to do. While I don't know everything He has for me to do, but I do know that whatever I do, it is to bring glory to Him. . .'cause He does deserve it. So, my hope is that this story (and this entire blog, for that matter) will encourage you, draw you near to Him and most of all, bring Him glory!!
May God shower His glorious blessings upon you all!
If you look back at my blog post from June 8, 2009, you will find a story about how I learned of a blood clot in my right arm during the last few months of my pregnancy. Even as of that date, things could have played out any number of ways, but just seven days later, my baby was born healthy with NO complications! Praise God!! Before I left the hospital to go home, I had another ultrasound of my right arm which showed that the blood clot was still there. It had not moved or changed in any way.
Fast forward to the end of July, I went for my post-partum visit at the doctor's office where (suddenly) I had some kind of near-fainting episode and was experiencing some pain in that right arm again. So, I was told to go the ER. Not sure what the near-fainting thing was about, but the ultrasound of my arm showed that the blood clot was still in my arm. . .unchanged.
About a month later, I go to see a Hematologist. Since I had been told (initially) by my OB to stay on my anti-coagulant medication until 3 months post-partum (September 15), the Hematologist recommended that we wait to do another ultrasound of my arm closer to that date. My ultrasound was set for Friday, September 11. As the that date quickly approached, I began praying earnestly that the clot would go away (the body is supposed to dissolve blood clots, the medicine is supposed to keep the clot from moving to other parts of the body). I was watching The 700 Club at the beginning of the week. This was Labor Day week and the folks at CBN have a concentrated time of prayer during that week of every year. They pray and fast for their ministry, and the needs of other people. They also do it in remembrance of when they first came on the air and just a few hours before, they did not have enough money to come on the air. As a matter of fact, they had missed their original air time due to lack of money. After some intense prayer and fasting, someone made a hefty donation and they were able to air their first show. I know many people are not fans of Pat Robertson, but one has to admit that is a pretty amazing story.
I was moved by that story and decided to pray and fast for healing of the blood clot in my right arm. September 10 was my day to pray and fast. So, these were the Scriptures that I used to pray "back" to the Lord, if you will:
James 5:16b-The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
Matthew 17:20, 21- "So Jesus said to them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you ahve faith as a mustard see, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there', and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting."
John 14:13, 14-And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name I will do it.
Ephesians 3:20-Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations , forever and ever. Amen.
During that time, I wondered what if God did not remove the clot. After all, there are many people that I have prayed for who have had cancer, for example, and they died. . .what about that? God does not always do what we ask. Then, what am I trusting Him for? I realized that unlike what many are preaching today, we are trusting God to do what is best for us. I mean, He is the God of the Universe and He created us, so He probably has a really good idea as to what is best for us. See, God's primary desire for us is not necessarily that we get our dream home, get the perfect job, make a six-figure salary, have the perfect marriage with the perfect kids, or be in perfect health. God's primary desire for us is that we become like Christ, His Son. Let me repeat, at the top of God's list for us is for our character to develop into that which is like Christ's. Philippians 2:5 says "Let this mind be in your which was also in Christ Jesus".
The next day, September 11, I went to have the ultrasound of my right arm and the ultrasound tech said that the clot was still there. She went on to say that at that point, it would probably be considered "chronic". It would take a while for it to dissolve if at all. I must admit, I was really disappointed but I praised God anyway. I had prayed and fasted and had others to pray, so I know He heard. I concluded that although I disagreed, He knew this was what was best for me. So, what had I learned? The presence of the clot taught me to number my days, to be appreciative of everything, everyday!! And so none of this was in vain.
The next week,Thursday, September 17, I was laying on my bed. I had just finished feeding my daughter and dozed off. I did too and suddenly, I was startled by not being able to breathe. I could not get any air. . .I was suffocating ( I couldn't even cough)!! And as suddenly as it came on, it went away and I could breathe again. That was incredibly strange, to say the very least. Then, later that evening, I wondered if I should get another ultrasound, but decided I would wait.
Fast forward to Tuesday, November 17, I called the doctor because I had (again) been experience some pain in my right arm, but this time for about four days straight. I even asked for prayer from my Sunday School class two days before. The doctor told me to go to the hospital to get yet another ultrasound of my right arm. This was another ultrasound tech and I asked her if she could see the clot because I was having trouble seeing it. She said, " I don't see anything. . .but we still have some more veins to go". When she was done, she said, "All of your veins are open. . .there is no clot there. " Oh my goodness, I was amazed. . .to say the very least! I shared the news with my husband, my mom, and one of my brothers, and a couple of friends, but I was really waiting on the "official" report from the Radiologist. Two days later, I got confirmation. The clot was GONE! I don't know about you, but I KNOW God healed me of that clot. Perhaps you think it just dissolved, but let me ask you this: what is the likelihood of that clot dissolving in two months when I had had ultrasounds every month since I was diagnosed with it in March and each showed that the clot had been unchanged? Well, I'll tell you. . .it didn't dissolve. God allowed the blood clot that was in the brachial vein of my right arm to pass into my lungs (causing me to suffocate) and then away WITHOUT killing me. I went to see my doctor for a follow-up appointment on December 1 and she checked my lungs (the clot was not there). She told me that I could discontinue using the medication. If the clot were in any other part of my body, it would certainly cause more problems, but I am fine. God has healed me and I didn't deserve it!! But then, I've never deserved anything that He has ever done for me. Understanding that, I realize that my life is not my own. . .I am here to do whatever God created me to do. While I don't know everything He has for me to do, but I do know that whatever I do, it is to bring glory to Him. . .'cause He does deserve it. So, my hope is that this story (and this entire blog, for that matter) will encourage you, draw you near to Him and most of all, bring Him glory!!
May God shower His glorious blessings upon you all!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
New Beginnings for Some, But On-going Pursuits for Others. . .Like Me
For the past several years (except last year), we have spent New Year’s Day with friends of ours. I remember about four or five years ago, we stood in a circle, prayed, and then went around and said something about the previous year as well as what we were looking forward to in the new year. Well, I remembered going through a few things during the last few months of the previous year, and I felt compelled to share with everyone that I felt as though God wanted to teach me about humility, obedience, and perseverance. The thing about it is that I remember saying it as if God would give me a few situations in which to “practice” those things, graduate me, if you will, by December 31 of that year, and then move me on to something else I needed to learn. As if all I needed to know about humility, obedience, and perseverance or “HOP” in life would be wrapped up in a year’s time. What was I thinking??
Well, what I think was that I was hoping that was how things would be. After all, the New Year often symbolizes a new beginning, a chance to reflect on the previous year and re-focus on what is truly important in the New Year, or repair things in the New Year that were “broken” in the year before. The New Year was a new beginning for my church, for example. After seventeen years of leading our church, our Pastor left and on January 1, began a new job. As we seek a new Pastor and begin a New Year, the leadership team has sought to help us all re-focus by doing a sermon series based on our church’s purpose or mission statement (which, of course, is rooted in God’s Word). The first sermon of the series focused on the first part of the statement which is to follow Christ. This led me to ask, “Am I following Christ?” Are you following Christ? Had this question been posed four or five years ago, my answer would have been, “Yes. I read and study my Bible. I pray regularly, and I go to church every Sunday. I strive to give to those in need and to raise my children in the fear of the Lord.”
Well, the Transitional Senior Pastor dished out some pretty heavy Scriptures to make me re-think my answer. The one that made the biggest impact on me was Luke 14:33. It reads (NKJV):
So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.
A disciple is a follower of Christ. After I read the same verse in my King James Study Bible, I immediately dropped down to the doctrinal footnotes at the bottom of the page. It simply said this:
Forsaketh means literally “renounce” or give up. Disciples must live in constant readiness to put their means at the disposal of the Lord’s ends.
Wow!! Today, I ran into a quote that I wrote down from Anne Graham Lotz’s latest book, “The Magnificent Obsession”. The book talks about how to live a God-filled life and is based upon the life of Abraham (see Genesis 12-25). This is what she said about him:
“Abraham had made the choice and left everything behind, kept the commitment and let everything go, satisfied the criteria and trusted everything completely, accepted the challenge and pursued everything patiently, resolved the conflict and cast everything out, and effectively communicated and lifted everything up, and he paid the cost and laid everything down. . .to embrace God”
I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty deep to me. All of this has caused me to re-examine my life as a professed follower of Christ. Have I really desired to know Him more or have I just wanted Him to do more for me? Have I really given up all I am and all I have? Have I renounced everything, or laid everything down for Him? Or, has it just been the “problem areas” of my life in which I have asked Him to interfere? To be quite honest, my answer is no, I have not surrendered everything to Him or for Him. So, in this New Year, January 2010, four or five years after making that initial statement, my journey toward true discipleship (which includes true humility, consistent obedience, and undying perseverance) continues. But. . .being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you (and me) will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6 NKJV).
Well, what I think was that I was hoping that was how things would be. After all, the New Year often symbolizes a new beginning, a chance to reflect on the previous year and re-focus on what is truly important in the New Year, or repair things in the New Year that were “broken” in the year before. The New Year was a new beginning for my church, for example. After seventeen years of leading our church, our Pastor left and on January 1, began a new job. As we seek a new Pastor and begin a New Year, the leadership team has sought to help us all re-focus by doing a sermon series based on our church’s purpose or mission statement (which, of course, is rooted in God’s Word). The first sermon of the series focused on the first part of the statement which is to follow Christ. This led me to ask, “Am I following Christ?” Are you following Christ? Had this question been posed four or five years ago, my answer would have been, “Yes. I read and study my Bible. I pray regularly, and I go to church every Sunday. I strive to give to those in need and to raise my children in the fear of the Lord.”
Well, the Transitional Senior Pastor dished out some pretty heavy Scriptures to make me re-think my answer. The one that made the biggest impact on me was Luke 14:33. It reads (NKJV):
So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.
A disciple is a follower of Christ. After I read the same verse in my King James Study Bible, I immediately dropped down to the doctrinal footnotes at the bottom of the page. It simply said this:
Forsaketh means literally “renounce” or give up. Disciples must live in constant readiness to put their means at the disposal of the Lord’s ends.
Wow!! Today, I ran into a quote that I wrote down from Anne Graham Lotz’s latest book, “The Magnificent Obsession”. The book talks about how to live a God-filled life and is based upon the life of Abraham (see Genesis 12-25). This is what she said about him:
“Abraham had made the choice and left everything behind, kept the commitment and let everything go, satisfied the criteria and trusted everything completely, accepted the challenge and pursued everything patiently, resolved the conflict and cast everything out, and effectively communicated and lifted everything up, and he paid the cost and laid everything down. . .to embrace God”
I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty deep to me. All of this has caused me to re-examine my life as a professed follower of Christ. Have I really desired to know Him more or have I just wanted Him to do more for me? Have I really given up all I am and all I have? Have I renounced everything, or laid everything down for Him? Or, has it just been the “problem areas” of my life in which I have asked Him to interfere? To be quite honest, my answer is no, I have not surrendered everything to Him or for Him. So, in this New Year, January 2010, four or five years after making that initial statement, my journey toward true discipleship (which includes true humility, consistent obedience, and undying perseverance) continues. But. . .being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you (and me) will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6 NKJV).
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Out of the Mouth of Babes
I am thinking seriously about homeschooling my children. So, yesterday, while enjoying lunch with my 6-year old, I asked her, "What do you think about having school at home next year? We could do 1st grade here at home." And the conversation went like this:
"What about my teacher?" she asked.
" I would be your teacher."
"But, you're my mom."
"But, can't I be your mom and teacher?"
"Well. . .you can be a teacher when you grow up."
"So, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Well, Mommy, instead of being President, I want to be a karate teacher. . .in China."
" In China??"
"Yes, I want to teach karate. . .at the center. . .in China"
"Okay. Well, what does God want you to be?"
"God, what do you want me to be? (short pause) He says He wants me to be a karate teacher in China (with a big smile on her face)."
"Well, okay then." (chuckling).
I couldn't help but grin and wonder where on earth the idea of teaching karate came from. I think back to when I was her age and I never thought about being President of anything or going to another country! As children, it seemed as if our choices were limited to doctor, nurse, policeman/policewoman, and in my case, gymnast. My mom used to always tell my brothers and me, "Don't limit yourselves!". My husband and I have always tried to pass that concept along to our kids by encouraging them to think globally and to think big. It was a bring spot in my day to see that all of our work has not been in vain.
As the day went on, I thought more of our conversation and became more amazed at how my God, the God of the Universe, speaks to us. One way is by placing little nuggets of wisdom in our children without them even knowing it. Here are a few nuggets He dished out to me through my 6-year old:
Nugget #1: We are never too old to go to work for God
I am a 38-year old whose head is (literally) lined with silver, yet my 6-year old suggested I could be a teacher after "I'm done" being her mom, and let me not forget. . .when I grow up. At ages 100 and 90, respectively, God made Abraham and Sarah to be parents to Issac, after a "lifetime" of barren-ness (see Genesis 18:1-15, 21:1-7). Is God trying to use you in a particular area but you insist that you're too old? Remember, God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20)!
Nugget #2: Think outside the box. God does.
My 6-year old is an African-American girl. While our current President, Barack Obama, is African-American, to date, we have not had an African-American female presidential candidate (from a major political party). So, to decide that she wanted to be President, at one time, was huge! Now, she wants to be a karate teacher in China. For the same reasons, I think that certainly qualifies as thinking outside the box!
In order to take possession of Jericho, a city enclosed by a wall where no one entered or left, Joshua and the children of Israel were not told to declare war and storm the city of Jericho. Instead, they were instructed, by God, to march around the city once a day for six days while the priests blew their trumpets. Then, on the seventh day, God told them to march around the city seven times while the priests blew their trumpets and then the priests were to make a long blast with their trumpets while all the people shouted. When they did as God commanded, the walls of Jericho fell (see Joshua 6). Who would have thought that a city could be destroyed by walking around it, blowing horns, and yelling??
Nugget #3: Since God created us, then we are His. Therefore, we should ask Him what He wants us to do with our lives, then obey.
When I asked my daughter what God wanted her to be, she immediately asked Him. She said He wants her to be a karate teacher in China. Maybe so or maybe not. . .time will tell, but what is important is that she is ready and willing to ask and do what he says. Are you? I must admit, I have not always been that way and even now, if what He tells me to do something that seems to be a little weird or a bit frightening, I often question Him and/or hesitate in obeying Him. But we all are to have the attitude of Mary when she found out that she was carrying the Son of God in her womb: "Let it be to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38).
God is always speaking to us: through His Word (The Holy Bible), through our peers, and even through our children. Let's be sure to listen closely for Him and do what He says!
"What about my teacher?" she asked.
" I would be your teacher."
"But, you're my mom."
"But, can't I be your mom and teacher?"
"Well. . .you can be a teacher when you grow up."
"So, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Well, Mommy, instead of being President, I want to be a karate teacher. . .in China."
" In China??"
"Yes, I want to teach karate. . .at the center. . .in China"
"Okay. Well, what does God want you to be?"
"God, what do you want me to be? (short pause) He says He wants me to be a karate teacher in China (with a big smile on her face)."
"Well, okay then." (chuckling).
I couldn't help but grin and wonder where on earth the idea of teaching karate came from. I think back to when I was her age and I never thought about being President of anything or going to another country! As children, it seemed as if our choices were limited to doctor, nurse, policeman/policewoman, and in my case, gymnast. My mom used to always tell my brothers and me, "Don't limit yourselves!". My husband and I have always tried to pass that concept along to our kids by encouraging them to think globally and to think big. It was a bring spot in my day to see that all of our work has not been in vain.
As the day went on, I thought more of our conversation and became more amazed at how my God, the God of the Universe, speaks to us. One way is by placing little nuggets of wisdom in our children without them even knowing it. Here are a few nuggets He dished out to me through my 6-year old:
Nugget #1: We are never too old to go to work for God
I am a 38-year old whose head is (literally) lined with silver, yet my 6-year old suggested I could be a teacher after "I'm done" being her mom, and let me not forget. . .when I grow up. At ages 100 and 90, respectively, God made Abraham and Sarah to be parents to Issac, after a "lifetime" of barren-ness (see Genesis 18:1-15, 21:1-7). Is God trying to use you in a particular area but you insist that you're too old? Remember, God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20)!
Nugget #2: Think outside the box. God does.
My 6-year old is an African-American girl. While our current President, Barack Obama, is African-American, to date, we have not had an African-American female presidential candidate (from a major political party). So, to decide that she wanted to be President, at one time, was huge! Now, she wants to be a karate teacher in China. For the same reasons, I think that certainly qualifies as thinking outside the box!
In order to take possession of Jericho, a city enclosed by a wall where no one entered or left, Joshua and the children of Israel were not told to declare war and storm the city of Jericho. Instead, they were instructed, by God, to march around the city once a day for six days while the priests blew their trumpets. Then, on the seventh day, God told them to march around the city seven times while the priests blew their trumpets and then the priests were to make a long blast with their trumpets while all the people shouted. When they did as God commanded, the walls of Jericho fell (see Joshua 6). Who would have thought that a city could be destroyed by walking around it, blowing horns, and yelling??
Nugget #3: Since God created us, then we are His. Therefore, we should ask Him what He wants us to do with our lives, then obey.
When I asked my daughter what God wanted her to be, she immediately asked Him. She said He wants her to be a karate teacher in China. Maybe so or maybe not. . .time will tell, but what is important is that she is ready and willing to ask and do what he says. Are you? I must admit, I have not always been that way and even now, if what He tells me to do something that seems to be a little weird or a bit frightening, I often question Him and/or hesitate in obeying Him. But we all are to have the attitude of Mary when she found out that she was carrying the Son of God in her womb: "Let it be to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38).
God is always speaking to us: through His Word (The Holy Bible), through our peers, and even through our children. Let's be sure to listen closely for Him and do what He says!
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