Paul

You may have never heard of Paul John Tomastic. He did not have a Wikipedia page or a YouTube channel. He did not have a college education, so you will not find any scholarly journal articles or books authored by him.  He did not have his own reality show. He was not a professional athlete. He was not mentioned in any of the Forbes’ lists this year.

Before about 4 years ago, I’d never heard of Paul John Tomastic, either. You see, my husband and I joined one of the many Sunday School classes at our 4000+ member church in the Midwest. The name of our class is called “Truthseekers”. We joined that class because the teacher did/does a fine job of teaching God’s Word and it was very diverse in that about half of the class is disabled in some way-physically, mentally, or both. Everyone has a story. I wish I had taken the time to know Paul’s story. Paul was physically and mentally disabled-bound to a wheelchair, yet he came to church as often as he could. You see, coming to church was more than a notion for Paul and our other friends as it involved the need for reliable wheelchair-friendly transportation. But, he came. . .until he could not anymore.

A couple of years ago, Paul was hospitalized, and it was determined that he could no longer breathe without being on a ventilator. Paul had a choice. He could either remain on the ventilator or go and be with Jesus. In this day and age, phrases like “consider your quality of life” are thrown around often. Courage and perseverance are rare qualities, yet Paul possessed them both. He decided to spend the rest of his days on a ventilator in a nursing home until the Lord called him home to Heaven. I am very confident that during these last years, he has blessed beyond belief those with whom he came in contact. He blessed my life. He had this incredible joy that only comes from our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. His smile was absolutely amazing! Ten months ago, we relocated from the Midwest to the West Coast. Recently, we sent graduation announcements for our oldest child and requested prayer for our second oldest child to our family and friends. One of our dear friends from our Sunday School class visited Paul and he shared the photo of our oldest as well as the prayer request with Paul. Our friend sent us the photo of Paul flashing the biggest smile ever (in a photo) congratulating our oldest and committing to pray for our second oldest. That warmed my heart beyond words. Less than a month later, he is no longer with us.

I began by telling you about what Paul did not have or do because for some reason, our society seems to judge one’s worth based on those things. Paul was an amazing man who lived and suffered well for his Savior Jesus Christ. And now, he gets to worship Him face to face. It saddened me to hear of Paul’s passing. My life is richer for knowing him. But, it was almost immediate that I went from mourning to rejoicing in the fact that Paul is no longer limited by wheelchairs and ventilators, physical and mental limitations. He is healed! And that makes me smile.

When I think of Paul, I am reminded of James 1:2-4 (ESV):

Count it all joy, my brother, when you meet trials of various kinds,

for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete,

lacking in nothing.

Paul John Tomastic
1957-2019

What Matters Most

My cousin, Tammi, is dying. The truth is we all are dying, but she is in hospice care even as I write.  My husband and I have 5 children, ranging from 17 to 4 years of age. While one child is trying to decide where to go to college after graduation in 4 months; another child is in speech therapy to help overcome a speech delay.  There are piano lessons to take; homework to finish; and behavior issues to manage.  It can all seem so very important. You can relate. Who has declared their candidacy for the 2020 Presidential race? Will President Trump build “The Wall”? Will we ever get a handle on global warming? Who is going to host the 2019 Oscars? Was this year’s Super Bowl Half-time Show indeed an epic fail? It can all seem so important, but it isn’t. It doesn’t matter. Repeatedly, the book of Ecclesiastes says, “All is vanity”.

Tammi is where we all will be one day. The way in which we get there will vary, but we will all be there. . .about to enter into eternity. It doesn’t matter if Tammi eats a gluten-free, plant-based diet or one of ice cream, cookies, and gummi bears. It doesn’t matter if Tammi earned a Ph.D., in Physics or not. It doesn’t matter if she is married to the love of her life or not.  Tammi babysat me when I was little and took good care of me. She has been a loving grandmother to her grandchildren. Na Na, as Tammi is affectionately called, is loved by her baby sister, nieces, and nephews. Her children adore her and are amazed by her strength.  While that is important, it pales in comparison to what matters most and that is. . Does she know Jesus as her Savior?

³ And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.  John 17:3 ESV

⁹because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.  Romans 10:9, 10 ESV

When I talked to Tammi back in the fall and asked her if she knew Jesus as her Savior.  She said, ‘Yes, I know Jesus. I have a personal relationship with Him.” Based upon her testimony, she has indeed concerned herself with what matters most. Now, the question is. . .Have you? Have you acknowledged/confessed that you are a sinner, and have you repented of your sin? Have you believed that Jesus is who He says He is-the One who absorbed all your sin and all of God’s wrath for your sin in your place? If not, let this be a nudge to address what matters most.

So, teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12 ESV

This Bears Repeating. . .

I went to a viewing today and it reminded me that regardless of who we are, what we have or have not achieved; what we have or do not have; we will all leave this place at some point. Tomorrow is not promised! And whether you believe it or not, we WILL meet God.

Do you know God?

The only way to know God is through His Son, Jesus Christ. John 14:6 (ESV) says, “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me’.’’  John 17:3 (ESV) reads,” And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent”.

Do you know Jesus Christ? Do you know Him as Savior and Lord of all?

Please understand, I am NOT asking if you go to church every week. I am NOT asking if/when you were baptized. I am NOT asking what ministry you serve in at church. I AM asking if you know that God is Holy (among other things) and that sin is offensive to Him? I AM asking if you know that you were born in sin and that you have no power in and of yourself to get rid of your sin? I AM asking if you have acknowledged your sin and turned away (repented) from it? Romans 6:23 (ESV) says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”.  Jesus died on a cross several years ago and the shedding of His blood on that cross paid the price (death) of the sins of all of mankind. This means He died for you. Then, three days later, He rose from the dead.

Do you believe that?

Romans 10:9-10 (ESV) says, “. . .because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.” Believing is a verb. It is action. So, if you are one who claims to believe this about Jesus and knows Jesus as Savior and Lord, from that initial point of belief, do you spend lots of time with Him, in prayer and in His Word? After all, that is how we get to know others. And, have you lived your life in such a way that points to Jesus? If you have not strived to do so, you may want to revisit whether or not you truly know Him.

This is crucial because when we die, we will go to one of two places-Heaven or Hell. Most of believe in Heaven, but many of us question whether Hell really exists. As a Christian rapper put it, “Hell is real and Hell is hot, Y’all!” Revelation 20:10 (ESV) says, “. . . and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever”.  And, Revelation 21:6-8 (ESV) goes on to say, “And he said to me, ‘It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment.  The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son.  But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death’.”

Simply put, those who know God through His Son, Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord will inherit eternal life in Heaven when they die. Those who do not know Jesus will go to Hell.

Fair to Midland?

My aunt was dying. One day, I was visiting with her in the hospital when the occupational therapist smiled and asked her, “How are you today?” My aunt cracked a smile and said, “Oh, fair to midland”.  I remember my grandfather used to say that. I couldn’t believe it. Here she was in the hospital-cancer lining her left lung and a tumor the size of a grapefruit on/in her liver-and she said she was doing “fair to midland”? A nurse for 34 years, her cognitive function had now been compromised by a stroke just a few months earlier.  She was not doing well at all.  It hurt so deeply to see her this way, but at the same time, I witnessed something amazing.

My aunt was living out the very words of the Apostle Paul who said, “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”  (Romans 8:18, KJV) What does that mean? Let me give you an example. My 3-year old son has become quite the runner. There are times when I have a little difficulty catching up with him and I used to be a sprinter! He’s pretty fast, but if I were to stage a 100m dash race between him and Usain Bolt, no spectators would come. As a matter of fact, Mr. Bolt would not show up because he knows that there would be no comparison. The gap between my son and Mr. Bolt would be so large, it would be crazy! My aunt knew that despite severely labored breathing, her extreme pain that required the likes of Oxycodone and Fentanyl to subdue, and her debilitated cognitive function, she would soon see her Savior face-to-face.  None of this (pain and sickness) would matter anymore as she would be free from it and the glory she would experience when she walked out of this life and into the next would be something she could have never imagined!

How is that possible? In her thirties, she acknowledged her sinfulness and repented (turned away) of her sins. By placing her trust in Jesus Christ, she received remission of her sins.  And therefore, she not only had a close relationship with her Savior here on earth which produced this peace of mind, but it also secured her a place in Heaven where the absolutely worst thing you can possibly think of on this earth does not compare its glory.

My aunt passed away four days later. Oh, how I miss her, but I can only imagine what she is experiencing now. Needless to say, she’s doing better than “fair to midland”. As my 8-year old daughter put it, “She’s in Heaven with Jesus and eatin’ macaroni and cheese”. What could be better than that?

Follow the Leader

I have to admit that recently, as a result of difficulty in my personal life and in wake of national and international tragedy, ashamedly, I have sought the Lord my more intensely than I have in a while. I say “ashamedly” because for all that He has done for me, I should always seek Him. But, let’s face it, hardship causes us to seek wisdom. I was reminded from a Christian radio program of James 4:8, “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you”. Taking Him at His Word, I have done so and as promised He has drawn near to me. He has provided comfort and peace during difficult circumstances, but also He has opened my eyes to truth. John 17:17 says, “Sanctify them in the truth: your word is truth”. He has done exactly that!

Several years ago, I was convicted by the fact that having called myself a Christian for about 20 years, I had not yet read the Bible in its entirety. I’d like to say that I was fully obedient to that “assignment” that God gave me, but I wasn’t. I did read it all, but it did take me a few years to do so. Better late than never, right? Well, yes and no. Yes, because I learned so much from doing that. No, because 98% obedience is still disobedience. In school or college, if you are told that an assignment is due on a particular day, but you turn in the assignment after the due date, depending on the teacher, you may still get credit for it, but not as much as you would have if you completed it on time. In some cases, some teachers would not even accept it. All this to say that it is important to obey what the Lord has said to do when the Lord says to do it.

As I read the Bible, I realized that there were some differences or inconsistencies in how we, American Christians, interpret the Word of God in our behavior and how people who were followers of Christ in the Bible lived. I tried to rationalize it by thinking that we are living in modern times and “things were different back then”. I started hearing sermons about while some may call themselves Christian, go to church every Sunday, read the Bible and do good to others; some will not go to Heaven. That was a wake-up call! So, for the last several years, I have wrestled with whether I am a Christian or not. It was difficult to put into words when I would share these feelings with others. Now, after reading just a small portion of Multiply: disciples making disciples by Francis Chan with Mark Beuving and listening to some sermons by David Platt based on his book, Radical, I realized why I have felt so convicted. Chan says “Basically, a disciple is a follower, but only if we take the follower literally. Becoming a disciple of Jesus is as simple as obeying His call to follow.” (p. 16) This made me think of the game that we played as kids, “Follow the Leader”. I looked up the basic rules of the game on Wikipedia. It says,

               “Follow the leader is a children’s game. First a leader or head of the line is chosen, then the children all line up behind the leader. The leader then moves around and all the children have to mimic the leader’s actions. Any players who fail to follow or do what the leader does are out of the game.”

So, my question is do I read the Bible enough to know who Jesus Christ is, what is important to Him and what He has done? Do I read the Bible enough to know what He commands of His followers? What did He do while He was here on earth and do I do the same things He did? He obeyed our Heavenly Father to the point of death, do I obey with the same fervency? If not, then I have to question whether or not I really believe Jesus Christ is who He says He is and question whether or not I really believe His Word, The Holy Bible, is true. Naturally, I then have to question, am I truly a follower of Christ? Notice my questions are NOT do I go to church and how often? Nor is it do I participate in a Bible Study? Nor is the question, on how many programs or committees do I serve?

I am not trying to suggest that our salvation is based on what we do. Romans 10:9, 10 says, “. . .because if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.” If Jesus is my Lord and I believe that every word He says is true, then I will do what He says when He says to do it. Plain and simple.

So, my question to you . . .is Jesus Christ your Leader and do you follow Him?

The Faith and Obedience of Abraham: Is This Your Story, Too?

I have read the book of Genesis a number of times, but yesterday, I think I began to really understand why Abraham is listed in the “Faith Hall of Fame” in Hebrews 11. I don’t know, but the words just seemed to jump off the page at me. God spoke to Abraham and told him to offer up his son, Isaac, as a burnt offering.  Genesis 22:3 (ESV) says, “So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac. And he cut the wood for the burnt offering and arose and went to the place of which God had told him”. As crazy as that may have sounded to him, Abraham obeyed. Here are a few observations I made (and questions I asked myself) when reading the account of the offering of Isaac:

1   Abraham knew it was God talking to him. Do I recognize God’s still small voice every time He speaks?

2   Abraham rose early to do this “crazy thing” that God told him to do. Do I obey God’s voice immediately? While God encourages us in His Word to pray (without ceasing) and fast, I think it is important to notice that it does not say that Abraham fasted and prayed. While seeking wise counsel is also advised in the Bible (Proverbs 11:14, 12:15), this portion of Scripture does not say that Abraham consulted with his wisest advisors on whether that would be a good move make.  The Word does not say that Abraham developed a 30-day strategic plan to accomplish this task.  The Word says in Genesis 22:2 “He said, ‘Take your son, your only son, Isaac . . .’, and in the next verse, Genesis 22:3, it reads, “So, Abraham rose early. . .”

3   Abraham obeyed regardless of his feelings. While the Word does not tell or even imply how Abraham may have felt when God told him to offer up Isaac, in verse 2, it does say, “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love. . .” With that said, I think it is safe to say that Abraham was not tickled pink about this whole thing, but he did what God said. I must ask myself, “Do I grapple over how I ‘feel’ before I even think about obeying God?” While He loves us with this unfathomable love, He expects us to obey Him, period.

4  Abraham’s obedience brings new meaning to Proverbs 3:5, 6 (ESV), which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths”.  You see, as we follow Abraham down this path of obedience, we see Isaac wondering where is the lamb for the burnt offering. Genesis 22:8 says”Abraham said, ‘God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.’ So they went both of them together.” This is my opinion, but I do not think Abraham had a clue as to what God was going to do, he just obeyed and trusted that God with the rest.  God did provide.  I have to be honest, while I desire to obey and have the faith of Abraham, as one who is always planning and looking ahead, I struggle with just trusting and obeying. What about you?

      What I have learned is that this kind of faith comes by walking closely with God. As we spend time with God in His Word (reading, studying, and applying), we get to know Him. We learn of His love for us. We learn of His power, His sovereignty, His promises, and His All-Around Awesomeness. We begin to know him as Abba or Father or most affectionately, Daddy. Think about God’s idea of the relationship between a Father and his child.  You know that they love one another and the child always wants to please his daddy without argument. The child trusts his daddy and knows that Daddy will always protect him and would never tell him to do anything that would harm him or others. May we all be encouraged to draw close to Our Father in Heaven.

So, This is Working for My Good, God? Part II

You know when bad times come or there is a death in your family and a friend says, "I'll pray for you" or "You're in my prayers"? Do you ever wonder, what are people saying in their prayers during those times? Are they really praying at all or is it just something nice to say? Is God really listening? Well, I realized that people do indeed pray during those times and I found out just what kind of God I had been serving all these years. I do not know exactly what people were praying, but Matthew 18:20 (KJV) says, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them".  I know for a fact that my mother, my aunt, my brothers, as well as my in-laws were praying for us.  I know that my best friend and her prayer partners were praying for us. I also know that our Sunday School classes (mine and my husband's) were praying for us as well as countless others. So, I know that Jesus Christ was in their presence as they were praying and Romans 8:34 says that He also intercedes for us in prayer. My Savior knew I was seriously struggling with whether or not He was worth serving and so, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to see that while this was an extremely difficult thing to deal with, He still loved me, He had not abandoned me through all of this, and He was (and still is) good!  Our family, friends, church family, and even people we did not know stepped up to be the loving arms of Jesus by taking our kids on play dates, transporting our children to and from their activities, preparing delicious meals ( I must say, these people of the Palouse are some of the most amazing cooks this side of the Mississippi!), sending cards and flowers, making gifts in remembrance of our precious twins, making phone calls, and sharing kind words of encouragement among other things.

My eyes were also opened to another fact. While I do recall experiencing some back pain a couple of days prior to finding out about our twins' passing, I did not experience any cramping or bleeding that would have alerted me that "something was not right". The night before the appointment, my husband was up late trying to complete a take-home exam between vomiting sessions of our middle child, and so we had contemplated not driving an hour and a half to the appointment, by my husband was convinced that we should. My next OB appointment was not scheduled for another 2-3 weeks. Had we not gone to this appointment, my life could have also been in jeopardy as I would have been carrying  lifeless babies in my womb and infection could have set in. . .but praise be to God who was looking out for me. . .looking out for us!  After I was made aware of that, the Holy Spirit continued to show me instance after instance of His goodness.

So, while that was an extremely difficult thing to go through-I miss my babies and I look forward to seeing them one day-He showed me in so many ways (more than I can write about in this post) that He is good and allowing us to experience this loss was indeed for my good. And then 14 months later, He blessed us beyond belief. . .

How's that for God's goodness?! 

O give thanks unto the Lord for He is good, for His mercy endureth for ever. . .Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men!

Psalm 107:1, 21



So, This is Working for My Good, God?

So, it has been exactly one year since my last blog entry. I am certainly not proud of that, but it seems as thought since June 29 of last year, my life suddenly got ridiculously busy. I kind of feel like Beyonce and I have some things n common as we both took the last year off and re-emerged as stronger and more mature women. She traveled the world while I hung out in my town of 9 square miles in Southeastern Washington. Okay, so maybe we are not that similar as the commonalities ended with we took a year off and re-emerged later. But, many of my experience within the last year were enjoyable. Some were devastatingly painful, however, as Romans 8:28 reminds me, they all worked together for my good (my paraphrase).

My husband spent last summer studying for his core exams for his Ph.D. During that time, there seemed to be this huge cloud of uncertainty looming above us regarding our future. Wouldhe pass the exams? If he did not pass, what did the future hold for us? If he did not pass, we figured we would need to move out of our family housing complex, but where would we go? would he get a job in this crazy market? Questions, questions, questions! I must say, though, by the time that he finished taking his last exam, I think we were all relieved that the process was complete . . .whether he passed or not! Then, August 11, the day after he took his final exam, we learned that I was pregnant.

"Really, God??" was my first reaction. While I know that every child is a miracle, to be honest, I was not really in the mood for that kind of miracle. My long lost Uncle Fred leaving me a significant monetary inheritance is more along the lines of the kind of miracle I would have preferred at that moment. I don't really have an Uncle Fred, but you get my drift. I was worried about my ability to care for four children (two of which would be under the age of 2 years, for a short time) while my hubby was still in school (full-time). I concerned myself with what others would say or think, and I know another child would affect us financially as we were already struggling in that area. In short, I was overwhelmed. . . with stuff that really did not matter. After reading and meditating over Psalms 127 and 139, God reminded me that while this was a surprise to me and in my opinion, not perfect timing, He had this in the works all along. Actually, this was perfect timing as that's just how He rolls. I was also reminded that children are blessings. . .period. . .and, that he would give whatever I needed (i.e. a extra large dose of patience) to care for my children. By the way, my husband was not concerned in the least, but was filled with joy and excitement at the thought of expanding our family. He has always wanted a large family. So, imagine our initial reactions when on September 9, we discovered that we were having twins! My husband could not have been more elated. I, however, . . .well, let me just say, I had to go back to Psalms 127 and 139 for a bit of review.

From the time I was a teenager, I had always envisioned my life as a career woman. . .ya know that kind of woman often portrayed as a woman who has it all. But, from the moment I knew we were having twins, it seemed to somehow solidify (for me) God's high calling on my life to be a mom to five precious children. Since I was considered to be high-risk for a number of reasons, we had the privilege of seeing our babies, via ultrasound, grow from "little beans" to little active people with heads, arms, and legs. While still overwhelmed, I felt highly favored by God to be carrying identical twins. At the same time, my husband was researching reviews on double strollers, sharing with me the bedding options for multiples, as well as predicting the gender (poor guy, we may end up having to get him a dog named "Bruiser" or something like that) and the birthdate of our babies.

Sadly, on October 18, we went for a scheduled ultrasound appointment to discover that our precious twins had died. Devastated does not begin to describe what we were feeling. What on Earth was God doing? What happened? How could this have been avoided? Why had God allowed us to get so attached to our babies in just 6 weeks only to take them away from us? Were they boys or girls? Was this a consequence of me not being excited about them in the beginning? Due to the type of twins they were (they shared the same sac with no membrane in between to separate them, otherwise known as "mono-mono" twins), it was easy for them to get caught up in each others' cords. My doctor said that there was nothing we could have done differently to prevent that from happening. At that point, my devastation turned to anger at God. I could not have prevented their deaths, but certainly The God of The Universe could have, but He did not. While I never questioned His existence, I did begin to question the kind of God I had been serving all of these years. . . (to be continued)

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28 NKJV

Prelude to a Final Farewell . . .

The West Side (Seattle/Tacoma/Olympia), China, Jordan, Utah, South Korea, Idaho, Albania, Taiwan, Wyoming, Southwest Washington (Vancouver/Portland), Saudi Arabia, Louisiana, Alaska, and Maryland. Those are just some of the places from which our neighbors in our apartment complex have come.

Nearly three years ago, our family set out on an adventure . . . moving from the Midwest to the Great Northwest. My husband had always wanted to be a professor, but he needed a Ph. D. After much prayer for God to tell us where he wanted us to go, and to be clear in His answer, we discovered that he wanted us in the thriving metropolis of Pullman, Washington (where we had no family or friends)! You know. . .Pullman, Washington, the Lentil Capital of the World?! Don't worry; we didn't know that either until a friend of ours informed us of that before we departed. Anyway, we got here and what a beautiful place! It is a small town of 27,000 that sits on rolling hills. My mom described the scenery as "endless golf courses". While we were able to go home for the Christmas/New Year's holidays a few months after we moved here, and we hoped to go back during the following summer, but our lack of money did not allow it. Little did I know that we were in for a treat. We spent the summer hanging out at the playground directly behind our building. It did have an interesting beginning as it snowed on June 10, 2008 Crazy!! But, I digress. . .

Perhaps hanging out at the playground does not seem that interesting, but it was because it was during those beautiful warm sunny days (with low humidity) that we began forming new friendships. Since Pullman is a small college town, it is very transient in nature. People don't move to the other side of town (like in my hometown), they either move in or move out of Pullman. With that said, it is common to meet people, spend lots of time with them, and then watch them move away just nine months later. Ironically, I posted a blog entry entitled, "This is Not My Home. . ." with regard to that very thing, two years ago almost to the day (June 27, 2008). Anyway, these friendships that we were forming on the playground would prove to be different. You see, many people/families have come and gone, but there has been a core group of us, of different races/nationalities, that arrived around the same time and will be leaving around the same time. This year, summer in Pullman has seemed to get a late start, so it has been difficult to catch up with everyone and what is going on in their lives. It is amazing how it gets so crazy during the school year (with school, work, and snow) that you can actually go weeks and months without ever seeing your neighbor. So, this past Saturday, we were all out and about enjoying the absolutely beautiful weather. Someone threw out the idea of getting together for a potluck-type barbecue this upcoming weekend. What a fantastic idea!! But then a bit sadness came over me because I realized that our time together is winding down. Next summer will prove to be very different as many of us (if not, all) will graduate, find jobs, and move away. The probability of us all settling down in Pullman is pretty much like. . .zero. But what makes my heart ache is that the probability that we will all see each other again is also pretty low. While globalization has taken this world by storm, (and I could be wrong) but I just do not see us all making frequent trips to China, South Korea, Albania, or Saudi Arabia. You know what I mean? So, I'm looking forward to our cookout this coming weekend, but my heart will be a little heavy as I have an idea of what the near future holds.

But, perhaps the cure for this heavy heart of mine is to think rather about how the Lord answered the prayers of my heart in the first place. As an African-American, I believe it is important to spend time with other African-American people, but at the same time, it is also very important to me that my children form friendships with all kinds of people (after all, we are all God's creation). While Pullman is a predominantly Caucasian town, the Lord sent us to our apartment complex that is so diverse, it has been dubbed, "The UN". He answered my prayer!Since He answered that prayer, I know He will answer other prayers. I hope we will all look back on this time together, amidst the stress of class, exams, new additions to our families, poverty, (etc.) as a beautiful and memorable time in our lives. And if we are unable to see each other again, that they will remember our family as one who strived to love them with the love of God.

My Earnest Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for being who You are-Almighty, Sovereign, Holy, Loving, Faithful, Merciful, Gracious, Forgiving, and Awesome, just for starters. Thank You for sending Your Son Jesus to suffer and die for all of my sins. Thank You for waking me up and allowing me to see yet another day. Thank You for Your providence and Your protection. Thank You for my husband, my children, my mom, my dads, my brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, friends, and church family. I realize that I was created for You. I am nothing without You. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit this day. As I read and study Your Word today, please give me understanding, wisdom, and discernment. Please give me all that I need to apply and obey Your Word. I pray that You forgive me of my sin and bring to light any sin I have so that I may lay it at the foot of Your cross, immediately. I pray that as I spend more time with You in Your Word that my heart will become more aligned with Yours-that my heart would break for the things that break Your heart; that Your desires would be my desires; that Your plans would be my plans, and the things that bring You joy would also bring me joy. Finally, I pray that the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control that You show toward me would flow through me to others with whom I come in contact so that they all may know You. May You be glorified in all that I think, say, and do. . . in Jesus' name, Amen.

The Call to Obedience (part II). . .

Recently, I watched a DVD of a church service during which the Pastor and the congregation prayed for/commissioned a small group of men that they are sending off to begin a new ministry. Also, during the service, this group of men shared their very moving testimonies of how the Almighty God changed their lives. While they all had different stories, there was a common thread that ran through all of them. They all had come face-to-face with their sin. They could no longer run or hide from it. Once they did that, they repented of their sin and surrendered all to Jesus, allowing the Holy Spirit to now rule their lives. Ironically, I have rencetly gone through a similar situation. I trusted Jesus Christ for my salvation years ago and I even considered myself to be living for Him. It was not until my entire life (recently) seemed to be falling apart that I cried out to the Lord and He showed me the problem or problems. It was as if He opened my eyes and exposed my sin for what it really was. Again, I have been a Christian for years, but there has always been this battle within me: self-sufficiency and doing my will versus allowing Christ to be Lord over my life and surrendering completely to His will. While I desired deep in my heart the latter, it was the former that often won out. After asking God to search my heart and bring to light the stuff that was not pleasin gto Him, He did exactly that! He brought to light my pride, selfishness, disobedience, and just out and out rebellion. It was like I was blind but then I could see. The Holy Spirit brought me face-to-face with my sin and I could not deny it.

In the early chapters of the book of Ezekiel, the prophet Ezekiel was sent to the children of Israel to warn them of God's wrath and judgement upon them because of their wickedness. Ezekiel did exactly what God told Him to do. He knew the ways of the children of Israel. He had witnessed first hand their worship of other gods, for example. However, in chapter 8, it was as if Ezekiel got a more in-depth look at their sin as God put His Spirit upon Ezekiel and lifted him between earth and heaven to show him the depths of their wickeness. Everytime God would show Ezekiel the abominations of the house of Israel, God would tell him to turn again so that he could see "greater abominations". The impression I got from the Scripture is that to describe these abominations as vile would be putting it mildly, yet the house of Israel was blind to their sin. For the life of them, they could not figure out why God had left them. After showing all of this to Ezekiel, chapter 8 verses 17 and 18 read:

And He said to me, "Have you seen this, O son of man? Is it a trivial think to the house of Judah to commit abominations which they commit here? For they have filled the land with violence; then they have returned to provoke Me to anger. Indeed they put the branch to their nose. Therefore, I also will act in fury. My eye will not spare nor will I have pity; and though they cry in My ears will a loud voice, I will not hear them.

Perhaps you are thinking, "That's good information, Malaika, but what is your point?" My point is this: God loves us and He has generously extended His grace and mercy to us. As I stated in my previous post, He is Holy and therefore, He cannot be in the presence of sin. Many of us, Christians and non-Christians alike, may be blind to the sinful lives we may be living. The sin may run so deep or we may have become so comfortable in our sin, that we do not see it and need God's Holy Spirit to reveal it to us. As a nation, like the house of Israel, we continue in our idolatrous, prideful, rebellious ways and we do not realize how offensive it is to God. We need "His eyes" in order to see and once we do, we must turn from our ways. If we continue in our "abominations",however, I believe God's fury will come upon us-individually and/or collectively.

For those who have ears, hear the call. . .

The Call to Obedience. . .

A few years ago, I was reading (somewhere) about Jim Bakker, the former televangelist who went to prison as a result of the PTL Ministries scandal. Why was I reading about Jim Bakker? I think I was surfin' the Net at work or something like that. But anyway, what I learned was that prior to going to prison, he had never read the Bible in its entirety. It was not until he went to prison that he read the Bible, in its entirety, at least three times. It was then that he realized that many of the things he had preached as leader of PTL Ministries, were incorrect-taken out of context. On one hand, I was shocked! I wondered how many pastors, ministers, ministry leaders (etc.) are out there that have not read the entire Bible. On the other hand, I understood perfectly. At the point that I read whatever it was about Jim Bakker, I had been a Christian for nearly 20 years and I had not once read the Bible in its entirety. I had tried, on a couple of occasions, but I always go stuck (and quit) in Leviticus and Numbers-not the most riveting books of the Bible, in my opinion, but essential in learning about Our Most Holy and Righteous God. So, out of obedience, I have begun again on the journey. I tried reading it in 90 days but I got behind on the second day. I just could not keep up. I am embarrassed to say when exactly I began reading the Bible (all the way through) again because I am not yet finished (and I should be). . .so I won't. BUT, I will say that I successfully made it through Leviticus and Numbers AND with some understanding.

Jim Bakker also mentioned seeing the big picture, in a sense, understanding God's incredible love for us, as a result of reading the entire Bible. I can totally relate to that! The other thing I was amazed about is the level of obedience demonstrated by the men and women of the Bible. From Genesis to Joshua, I was astounded by the leaders' strict obedience to God. So many times I read of God telling a person or a group of persons (i.e. the children of Israel) to do something and they simply did it. "Simply" does not meant that the tasks were simple. I know that working to build the ark for 100+ years was no simple undertaking. Rather, these men (and women) knew it was our Lord God speaking to them, they trusted them, and did what He said without question. Now, that's impressive! Now while I do include Moses in this list of obedient leaders, he did make some mistakes here and there. For example, I had always known that Moses did not get to actually cross over into the Promised Land with the children of Israel as a result of a sin he committed, but I never knew what his sin was exactly. Well, the answer to that question lies in the book of Numbers chapter 20. How ironic is that? Anyway, the children of Israel were in Kadesh and they began to complain (yet again) to Moses and Aaron about the lack of water to drink. Moses and Aaron then fell on their faces and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. Numbers 20:7-12 reads:

Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, "Take the rod; you and your brother Aaron gather the congregation together. Speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water; thus you shall bring water for them out of the rock, and give drink to the congregation and their animals." So Moses took the rod from before the Lord as He commanded him.

And Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock; and he said, "Hear now, you rebels!" Must we bring water for you out of this rock?" Then Moses lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their animals drank.

Then the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not believe Me, to hallow me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them".

Did you get it? Did you catch what Moses' sin was? To be honest, I did not at first. I had to read it a couple of times, and then read it from a different Bible with additional commentary. God told Moses to speak to the rock and then it would yield water. Instead, in frustration and anger, Moses yelled at the children of Israel and hit the rock twice. Since water came out of the rock for the children of Israel and their animals to drink, most would conclude, "all's well that ends well". But that is not the case because he hit the rock (twice) rather than speak to it, as God said, Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land.

Can you believe God did that to Moses after all he had been through with the children of Israel, not to mention all the other times in the past he had indeed obeyed God? Well, at first, I must admit I thought God was a little harsh on ol' Mo. But then I remembered that God is a Holy and Righteous God. He is our Heavenly Father and He commands our obedience, because, hands down, His ways are always best. As with our own children, if they do not obey us, there are consequences for their choices.

I think we have embraced God's message of grace and mercy to a dangerous point that we dismiss His call for obedience. Perhaps you think, as I did at first, "So, Moses hit the rock instead of speaking to it, is it really that deep?" Well, yes it is actually, but the enemy (satan), along with our flesh had done a really good job of desensitizing us to that fact. God is Holy. He does not tolerate nor can He be in the presence of sin. For even God separated Himself (briefly) from Jesus Christ as He bore our sins on the cross.

So, perhaps you are wondering what our next steps should be. First, we need to fall on our faces before the Lord with praise, adoration, and thanksgiving for His incredibly abundant grace and mercy. For it is only by His grace that He has not utterly destroyed us because of our extreme disobedience (personally and collectively) and our lackadasical attitude toward obedience to Him.

Next, repentance is in order. Repent for when you have flat out disobeyed God and did your own thing. Repent for when you have only partially obeyed God, which is really disobedience. Repent for when you have compromised or not taken His Word seriously.

Then, we must pray. Hebrews 4:15, 16 says:

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

We cannot live a Christ-centered life of obedience and submission to God in our own strength. We can only do so with the help of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. Pray that He will give you His strength to be obedient, and He will. John 14:14 says:

If you ask any thing in My name, I will do it.

What an awesome promise for help in living a life totally obedient to God!

Finally, do what He has told you to do. James 1:22-25:

But be doers of the word, and hot hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mierror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.

So, go forth in obedience. . .

I Just Can't Keep It In Any Longer!

Perhaps some of you have been reading my blog and have thought I have become a bit "too preachy" or I have turned into this "religious nut job", or maybe some of you think, "'Bout time. . .she's finally got a clue!". Whatever the case, it's okay . . . I just can't keep it in any longer. What am I talking about? I am talking about God and His goodness. He has been so good to me and I so don't deserve it! For years, he has protected me, provided for me, tolerated my ridiculousness (just to name a few things), and I have just taken Him for granted. My life has been all about me, but no longer. . .I am ready to live wholeheartedly for Him. Why now?? He has shown me how awesome He is and how undeserving I am of His awesome-ness.

If you look back at my blog post from June 8, 2009, you will find a story about how I learned of a blood clot in my right arm during the last few months of my pregnancy. Even as of that date, things could have played out any number of ways, but just seven days later, my baby was born healthy with NO complications! Praise God!! Before I left the hospital to go home, I had another ultrasound of my right arm which showed that the blood clot was still there. It had not moved or changed in any way.

Fast forward to the end of July, I went for my post-partum visit at the doctor's office where (suddenly) I had some kind of near-fainting episode and was experiencing some pain in that right arm again. So, I was told to go the ER. Not sure what the near-fainting thing was about, but the ultrasound of my arm showed that the blood clot was still in my arm. . .unchanged.

About a month later, I go to see a Hematologist. Since I had been told (initially) by my OB to stay on my anti-coagulant medication until 3 months post-partum (September 15), the Hematologist recommended that we wait to do another ultrasound of my arm closer to that date. My ultrasound was set for Friday, September 11. As the that date quickly approached, I began praying earnestly that the clot would go away (the body is supposed to dissolve blood clots, the medicine is supposed to keep the clot from moving to other parts of the body). I was watching The 700 Club at the beginning of the week. This was Labor Day week and the folks at CBN have a concentrated time of prayer during that week of every year. They pray and fast for their ministry, and the needs of other people. They also do it in remembrance of when they first came on the air and just a few hours before, they did not have enough money to come on the air. As a matter of fact, they had missed their original air time due to lack of money. After some intense prayer and fasting, someone made a hefty donation and they were able to air their first show. I know many people are not fans of Pat Robertson, but one has to admit that is a pretty amazing story.

I was moved by that story and decided to pray and fast for healing of the blood clot in my right arm. September 10 was my day to pray and fast. So, these were the Scriptures that I used to pray "back" to the Lord, if you will:

James 5:16b-The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Matthew 17:20, 21- "So Jesus said to them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you ahve faith as a mustard see, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there', and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting."

John 14:13, 14-And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name I will do it.

Ephesians 3:20-Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations , forever and ever. Amen.

During that time, I wondered what if God did not remove the clot. After all, there are many people that I have prayed for who have had cancer, for example, and they died. . .what about that? God does not always do what we ask. Then, what am I trusting Him for? I realized that unlike what many are preaching today, we are trusting God to do what is best for us. I mean, He is the God of the Universe and He created us, so He probably has a really good idea as to what is best for us. See, God's primary desire for us is not necessarily that we get our dream home, get the perfect job, make a six-figure salary, have the perfect marriage with the perfect kids, or be in perfect health. God's primary desire for us is that we become like Christ, His Son. Let me repeat, at the top of God's list for us is for our character to develop into that which is like Christ's. Philippians 2:5 says "Let this mind be in your which was also in Christ Jesus".

The next day, September 11, I went to have the ultrasound of my right arm and the ultrasound tech said that the clot was still there. She went on to say that at that point, it would probably be considered "chronic". It would take a while for it to dissolve if at all. I must admit, I was really disappointed but I praised God anyway. I had prayed and fasted and had others to pray, so I know He heard. I concluded that although I disagreed, He knew this was what was best for me. So, what had I learned? The presence of the clot taught me to number my days, to be appreciative of everything, everyday!! And so none of this was in vain.

The next week,Thursday, September 17, I was laying on my bed. I had just finished feeding my daughter and dozed off. I did too and suddenly, I was startled by not being able to breathe. I could not get any air. . .I was suffocating ( I couldn't even cough)!! And as suddenly as it came on, it went away and I could breathe again. That was incredibly strange, to say the very least. Then, later that evening, I wondered if I should get another ultrasound, but decided I would wait.

Fast forward to Tuesday, November 17, I called the doctor because I had (again) been experience some pain in my right arm, but this time for about four days straight. I even asked for prayer from my Sunday School class two days before. The doctor told me to go to the hospital to get yet another ultrasound of my right arm. This was another ultrasound tech and I asked her if she could see the clot because I was having trouble seeing it. She said, " I don't see anything. . .but we still have some more veins to go". When she was done, she said, "All of your veins are open. . .there is no clot there. " Oh my goodness, I was amazed. . .to say the very least! I shared the news with my husband, my mom, and one of my brothers, and a couple of friends, but I was really waiting on the "official" report from the Radiologist. Two days later, I got confirmation. The clot was GONE! I don't know about you, but I KNOW God healed me of that clot. Perhaps you think it just dissolved, but let me ask you this: what is the likelihood of that clot dissolving in two months when I had had ultrasounds every month since I was diagnosed with it in March and each showed that the clot had been unchanged? Well, I'll tell you. . .it didn't dissolve. God allowed the blood clot that was in the brachial vein of my right arm to pass into my lungs (causing me to suffocate) and then away WITHOUT killing me. I went to see my doctor for a follow-up appointment on December 1 and she checked my lungs (the clot was not there). She told me that I could discontinue using the medication. If the clot were in any other part of my body, it would certainly cause more problems, but I am fine. God has healed me and I didn't deserve it!! But then, I've never deserved anything that He has ever done for me. Understanding that, I realize that my life is not my own. . .I am here to do whatever God created me to do. While I don't know everything He has for me to do, but I do know that whatever I do, it is to bring glory to Him. . .'cause He does deserve it. So, my hope is that this story (and this entire blog, for that matter) will encourage you, draw you near to Him and most of all, bring Him glory!!

May God shower His glorious blessings upon you all!

New Beginnings for Some, But On-going Pursuits for Others. . .Like Me

For the past several years (except last year), we have spent New Year’s Day with friends of ours. I remember about four or five years ago, we stood in a circle, prayed, and then went around and said something about the previous year as well as what we were looking forward to in the new year. Well, I remembered going through a few things during the last few months of the previous year, and I felt compelled to share with everyone that I felt as though God wanted to teach me about humility, obedience, and perseverance. The thing about it is that I remember saying it as if God would give me a few situations in which to “practice” those things, graduate me, if you will, by December 31 of that year, and then move me on to something else I needed to learn. As if all I needed to know about humility, obedience, and perseverance or “HOP” in life would be wrapped up in a year’s time. What was I thinking??

Well, what I think was that I was hoping that was how things would be. After all, the New Year often symbolizes a new beginning, a chance to reflect on the previous year and re-focus on what is truly important in the New Year, or repair things in the New Year that were “broken” in the year before. The New Year was a new beginning for my church, for example. After seventeen years of leading our church, our Pastor left and on January 1, began a new job. As we seek a new Pastor and begin a New Year, the leadership team has sought to help us all re-focus by doing a sermon series based on our church’s purpose or mission statement (which, of course, is rooted in God’s Word). The first sermon of the series focused on the first part of the statement which is to follow Christ. This led me to ask, “Am I following Christ?” Are you following Christ? Had this question been posed four or five years ago, my answer would have been, “Yes. I read and study my Bible. I pray regularly, and I go to church every Sunday. I strive to give to those in need and to raise my children in the fear of the Lord.”

Well, the Transitional Senior Pastor dished out some pretty heavy Scriptures to make me re-think my answer. The one that made the biggest impact on me was Luke 14:33. It reads (NKJV):

So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.

A disciple is a follower of Christ. After I read the same verse in my King James Study Bible, I immediately dropped down to the doctrinal footnotes at the bottom of the page. It simply said this:

Forsaketh means literally “renounce” or give up. Disciples must live in constant readiness to put their means at the disposal of the Lord’s ends.

Wow!! Today, I ran into a quote that I wrote down from Anne Graham Lotz’s latest book, “The Magnificent Obsession”. The book talks about how to live a God-filled life and is based upon the life of Abraham (see Genesis 12-25). This is what she said about him:

“Abraham had made the choice and left everything behind, kept the commitment and let everything go, satisfied the criteria and trusted everything completely, accepted the challenge and pursued everything patiently, resolved the conflict and cast everything out, and effectively communicated and lifted everything up, and he paid the cost and laid everything down. . .to embrace God”

I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty deep to me. All of this has caused me to re-examine my life as a professed follower of Christ. Have I really desired to know Him more or have I just wanted Him to do more for me? Have I really given up all I am and all I have? Have I renounced everything, or laid everything down for Him? Or, has it just been the “problem areas” of my life in which I have asked Him to interfere? To be quite honest, my answer is no, I have not surrendered everything to Him or for Him. So, in this New Year, January 2010, four or five years after making that initial statement, my journey toward true discipleship (which includes true humility, consistent obedience, and undying perseverance) continues. But. . .being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you (and me) will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6 NKJV).

Out of the Mouth of Babes

I am thinking seriously about homeschooling my children. So, yesterday, while enjoying lunch with my 6-year old, I asked her, "What do you think about having school at home next year? We could do 1st grade here at home." And the conversation went like this:

"What about my teacher?" she asked.

" I would be your teacher."

"But, you're my mom."

"But, can't I be your mom and teacher?"

"Well. . .you can be a teacher when you grow up."

"So, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Well, Mommy, instead of being President, I want to be a karate teacher. . .in China."

" In China??"

"Yes, I want to teach karate. . .at the center. . .in China"

"Okay. Well, what does God want you to be?"

"God, what do you want me to be? (short pause) He says He wants me to be a karate teacher in China (with a big smile on her face)."

"Well, okay then." (chuckling).

I couldn't help but grin and wonder where on earth the idea of teaching karate came from. I think back to when I was her age and I never thought about being President of anything or going to another country! As children, it seemed as if our choices were limited to doctor, nurse, policeman/policewoman, and in my case, gymnast. My mom used to always tell my brothers and me, "Don't limit yourselves!". My husband and I have always tried to pass that concept along to our kids by encouraging them to think globally and to think big. It was a bring spot in my day to see that all of our work has not been in vain.

As the day went on, I thought more of our conversation and became more amazed at how my God, the God of the Universe, speaks to us. One way is by placing little nuggets of wisdom in our children without them even knowing it. Here are a few nuggets He dished out to me through my 6-year old:

Nugget #1: We are never too old to go to work for God

I am a 38-year old whose head is (literally) lined with silver, yet my 6-year old suggested I could be a teacher after "I'm done" being her mom, and let me not forget. . .when I grow up. At ages 100 and 90, respectively, God made Abraham and Sarah to be parents to Issac, after a "lifetime" of barren-ness (see Genesis 18:1-15, 21:1-7). Is God trying to use you in a particular area but you insist that you're too old? Remember, God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20)!

Nugget #2: Think outside the box. God does.

My 6-year old is an African-American girl. While our current President, Barack Obama, is African-American, to date, we have not had an African-American female presidential candidate (from a major political party). So, to decide that she wanted to be President, at one time, was huge! Now, she wants to be a karate teacher in China. For the same reasons, I think that certainly qualifies as thinking outside the box!

In order to take possession of Jericho, a city enclosed by a wall where no one entered or left, Joshua and the children of Israel were not told to declare war and storm the city of Jericho. Instead, they were instructed, by God, to march around the city once a day for six days while the priests blew their trumpets. Then, on the seventh day, God told them to march around the city seven times while the priests blew their trumpets and then the priests were to make a long blast with their trumpets while all the people shouted. When they did as God commanded, the walls of Jericho fell (see Joshua 6). Who would have thought that a city could be destroyed by walking around it, blowing horns, and yelling??

Nugget #3: Since God created us, then we are His. Therefore, we should ask Him what He wants us to do with our lives, then obey.

When I asked my daughter what God wanted her to be, she immediately asked Him. She said He wants her to be a karate teacher in China. Maybe so or maybe not. . .time will tell, but what is important is that she is ready and willing to ask and do what he says. Are you? I must admit, I have not always been that way and even now, if what He tells me to do something that seems to be a little weird or a bit frightening, I often question Him and/or hesitate in obeying Him. But we all are to have the attitude of Mary when she found out that she was carrying the Son of God in her womb: "Let it be to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38).

God is always speaking to us: through His Word (The Holy Bible), through our peers, and even through our children. Let's be sure to listen closely for Him and do what He says!

A "New" Reality. . .

A little over three months ago, I accidentally hit the top of my right hand on the corner of the chest of drawers in my bedroom. Besides a little soreness and mild cases of the "tinglies" most mornings, my hand was fine. . .or so I thought. Well, two and a half weeks after that incident, I woke up to find my right hand completely swollen! With some ice, most of the swelling went down, except a small portion between my forefinger and thumb. Thank goodness, I had a doctor's appointment (by the way, I was 27 weeks pregnant at the time) that morning. The doctor thought the swelling to be unusual and ordered an X-ray, thinking that the swelling was caused by a hairline fracture. Negative. No fracture, but still swelling. When asked how to proceed, I was told to continue icing the area, although the ice did nothing but make my hand cold (and bring a back a few memories of me sitting in the cold whirlpool during my IU Track & Field days). The next evening, I realized there was swelling a bit further up my arm. Knowing that something was not right, I proceeded to the emergency room where I found out that I have a blood clot in my right arm and I would need to be admitted to the hospital. Wow!! I have had very few health challenges in my life thus far, but I knew enough to know that blood clots are dangerous and if they travel to the wrong places like the heart or lungs, the situation can be fatal. Everyone I talked to, including the various medical professionals, said something like, "Oh my goodness, it is such a good thing that you came in when you did!" Well, I credit the Holy Spirit with that!

I cannot possibly put into words all of the things that went on in my head for the next 48 hours, but I think it is safe to say that my thoughts were lined with fear. Basically, I thought I was going to die at any moment. The next week, after I was released from the hospital, I realized that there was swelling further up my arm which meant the clot had moved. The medicine that I was given was supposed to prevent that. Now, at that point, I was freakin' out!! But, because I was already on an aggressive treatment regimen, the doctors advised against increasing my dosage of meds as it could cause some real problems. At that point, I realized that I had come to the end of myself and the end of my doctors, all I had to rely on was God. But, when you think about it, isn't that all we ever have to rely on, really?

What I have learned (and man, has it been a lesson to learn) is that I actually could die at any moment. . .any of us could. Not one of us is guaranteed tomorrow or the next moment in fact. We tend to think that if we're young, active, physically fit, non-smokers, and productive ( I could go on with the adjectives, but I won't) that we will long lives. Where did we get that from?! That is simply not true. The truth of the matter is that death is God's business. In the words of Bill Cosby (and countless other parents), He created us and brought us into this world and He will take us out. . .when He is ready for us. We have absolutely no control over when we die. We get to see another day because of His grace, not because of something we have done. Along the same lines, we forget that God has created us for His purposes. Meaning that out of love for us, we get the opportunity to participate in God's plans for the world. He doesn't need us. He is God. . .but He chooses us. Likewise, He uses things like medicine (for the sake of my example), made by men, to help in the healing process. But so many times, we forget Who is behind the healing and instead, we put our trust in the medicine when in reality, our trust should always be in the LORD God.

As a Christian, one would think that that thought process would be automatic for me, but I am sad to say, it wasn't. As a matter of fact, it has taken me awhile to adjust to this "new reality" (and to be quite honest, I'm still adjusting-note the present tense). It has really taken me out of my comfort zone, but in a good way. Instead of living life with a false sense of reality, I am learning to truly put my trust in God . . .as I have been singing about (in church) and reading about (in my Bible) for years. It is all about Him and so not about me. . .or us. I hope you will look on my experience and take on this new reality in your life.

May God richly bless you in the name of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ!

Mixed Emotions

As I have mentioned before, I live in a small college town of 27,000 in the Pacific Northwest. A little over a year ago, my family and I relocated from a Midwestern thriving metropolis. It is interesting to compare the differences between the two places. Due to the size (and downright craziness of some of the people that live there) of the Midwestern city, there is quite a bit of crime and homelessness. Please do not get me wrong, I know that there are millions of other factors, including the economy, that attribute to these things, but I do know that size is a major factor. Anyway, in my quaint little Pacific Northwestern town, there are no homeless people. . .well, there weren't any until now.

Recently, a 28-year old convicted rapist, who is homeless, has moved to our town. It is unbelieveable. . .all local university employees were notified of this sex offender's presence by e-mai; there was a blurb in the newspapers; and posters up at various establishments. Wow! That's pretty cool. In the Midwest, we were surrounded by approximately 20 registered sex offenders and for the longest, we didn't have a clue! I really appreciate the community making its residents aware of potential danger as I certainly do not want my children in the presence of a convicted rapist.

On the other hand, is that really "pretty cool"? I'm not sure how long he has been in town, but already, just about everyone knows of his existence and his status. Consider this man for a moment. . . He is a registered sex offender and so probably as a result, he is homeless, he is probably having difficulty finding a job. Perhaps, he just wanted to move someplace else and start over, has anyone even considered that? Probably not. . .we just hear "convicted rapist" or "registered sex offender" and the person is automatically shunned. I know this is controversial and I am not at all excusing his actions. But, I did a little investigation into his case. As it turns out, this man did not comb the streets looking for his next victim. Rather, this was an acquaitence-rape situation. It did not appear as though the woman was under-age, but that this was a question of whether there was consent or not. He said yes. She said no. By no means am I down-playing the seriousness of the crime. . ."no" means "no"!!

I guess what I am saying is I have mixed emotions about this whole thing. I have kids. I want them to be safe. But, I am also reminded of the story of the Samaritan woman in John 4 of the Holy Bible, that by the way, I just recently read to my kids. Jesus, a Jew, goes to a well in the city of Samaria, and asks a lady for a drink of water. She was stunned because back then, Jews had no dealings with Samaritans. He goes on to converse with her and tells her that He can offer her Living Water for He is the Messiah that she believed that was coming (my paraphrase). This woman was not only rejected by Jews because she was a Samaritan, but most likely she was ostracized by other Samaritans, as well, because of her lifestyle. She had had five husbands and the man with which she was living, at the time, was not her husband. Yet, Jesus spoke to her in love, kindness, gentleness, and I think it is safe to say. . .with forgiveness.

Hmmmm. . . . .how can we apply this? I know there are people who will struggle with this post. As evident in the title, I obviously do. But as Christians-followers of Christ-aren't we supposed to do what Jesus would do? Romans 12:2 says, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God". So, what does that look like?

Just a little somethin' to get you thinkin'. . .

Foundations

I live on a college campus and during the last school year, I worked out quite a bit at the outdoor track. The outdoor track is located just east of the football stadium and south of the fieldhouse. There is a space where all of those facilities meet that used to be a small parking lot. Okay, so much for that visual. . .trying to describe it is getting confusing even for me.

Anyway, shortly after the school year ended, the space was blocked off and suddenly, a really deep hole or pit appeared. There is some construction going on at the neighboring stadium, so it looked as though the workers were connecting some pipes or something. Like I said, the space in which they were working was really deep and they worked in that pit forever, it seemed like. Well, today, I went up to the track for the first time in several weeks and as it turns out, it looks like they have built a new restroom facility. My first impression was, "They went through all of that for another set of restrooms?" But then I saw it from a different perspective. How many of us are willing to do the really hard work or go through the tough times to insure that our foundations are solid?

The first example that comes to mind is rearing children. It can be tough trying to raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, or as Proverbs 22:6 says, " Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Quite frankly, on some days, it wears me out! But, I have another example. . .

Lately, I have found myself getting a bit frustrated with God. I feel as though God has put all of these ministry/career ideas in my mind and on my heart, but I feel as though things are moving at the speed of molasses! I'm like, "Let's go, God! Let's get on with it (while snapping my fingers)". But I am reminded of Matthew 7:24, where Jesus says, "Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock; and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on the house, and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock." Like the restroom facility that has a solid foundation, I must be deeply rooted in Jesus and in the Word of God for any ministry/career idea to be really successful. And it is important to note that success is not and should not always be measured in terms of money.

I am also reminded of 1 Peter 5:6,7: Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your cares upon Him for He cares for you. God loves me and He wants what is best for me, always. So, perhaps my roots are not deep enough. I know I can always dig deeper in the Word. One thing I know He has urged me to do is read the Bible in its entirety, something in all my years as a Christian I have not done (shame on me). Perhaps He is waiting for me to stop tryin' to run things and simply trust Him. I could go on, but I won't. One thing is for sure, in His timing, when my foundation is solid, completely rooted in Him, He will use me in ways I could not have imagined.

So, how is your "foundation" holding up? Is your "foundation" built on The Rock or is it built on the external and fleeting (i.e. money, good career, good looks, material possessions, etc.)? Is your reason for living to live for Christ by loving, serving and giving to others? Or, are you living to simply eat, drink, and be merry? Or, is there a struggle going on? Perhaps once upon a time, pleasing God was all you wanted to do, but slowly the pressures of the world have diverted your attention, causing "cracks" in your foundation. Remember, Jesus is here and if you're still here, it's not too late to call on Him.

Until next time, may you be encouraged!

Are You Ready?

Recently, I received an email notifying me that a fellow college alumnus had died. His name sounded familiar to me, so I looked up his obituary. I realized that while we also graduated from the same high school, he was a bit older than me and so our paths never crossed. From reading the obituary and the brief news article, he was a young man; he seemed to have a rewarding career; and he appeared to be loved by many. According to the newspaper, he was traveling on a motorcycle (and wearing a helmet) at about 30 mph when he came to a sudden stop. His rear tire went up and ejected him from the bike. It does not appear as though there were any another vehicles involved. He seemed to be doing everything right. He took the necessary safety precautions by wearing a helmet and not speeding. But, while he survived the accident, he died later at the hospital. My question is: was he ready to go and meet his Creator? I am not suggesting that he was not, I am just wondering if he was? So often I think we get in our heads, "I'm young", "I have a family", or "I'm this or that. God surely would not end my life now." I have certainly been guilty of that way of thinking. But the fact is tomorrow is not promised for any of us, so we need to make an important choice on this side of eternity. Are you ready to meet Him? Have you trusted Jesus for your salvation? If not, what are you waiting for?

This is not my home. . .

I lived in the Midwest for over three decades. . .until last summer when my family and I moved to the Pacific Northwest so my husband could attend graduate school. What an adventure! What a leap of faith!!

It has been a wonderful experience. I had never been to this state, so I was pleasantly surprised to see the beautiful rolling hills, the mountains, and just the lush-ness of the region. On a sunny spring day, it is not uncommon to think to oneself, "Ahh, indeed, this is God's country ". That didn't take much getting used to at all, however, the inches-upon-inches of snow, this past winter, did. But more than that, there is something that I'm still wrestling with. . .and that is the transience of the town in which I live. For someone who lived in the same city all of her life, except during the college years (yes, I was on the 5-year plan), I was not prepared for this. I live in a small college town on campus, so I expected student families to come and go. Or, so I thought. I guess I figured that everyone we met would be here for the same length of time as us. Uhhh. . . no, that is not the case. We have not been here a full year yet and we know of nine families who have moved or will be moving soon. Four of those are non-student families. One family is even moving to another country! And these are people that I have gotten to know and appreciate. I'm not the most outgoing person, so it is rather difficult for me to make friends. The friendships I have (from the Midwest) took years to cultivate into what they are now. So, what's a girl to do? While I do love it here, I'm almost afraid to lay down any roots, because we plan to move again once my husband graduates and I'll just have to cut them (the roots). . .yet again. Well, I had to take this situation to the Lord in prayer, because, believe it or not, this kind of thing can be rather traumatic.

Through His Word and various sermons, I felt the Lord reminding me that this is not my home. Not the Pacific Northwest. Not the Midwest, either. This earth is not my home. Heaven is. So, any roots I lay down anywhere on this earth will be cut or plucked up when I leave it, and only He knows when that will be. Yet, we were created to be in community with one another. . .to encourage one another, to support one another, even if only for a season. So my "solution" is really not a solution. Instead, I am reminded to continue in God's work; to trust Him in the areas in which I am being "stretched", knowing that He will be there for me when "it" is hard, or when "it" gets to be too much to take, or I'm just sad when He moves another person/family to take on another "assignment" somewhere else. Now, that's not really what I wanted to hear, but I'll take it. . .because I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

My point is that it is so easy to get caught up into the things of this world, good and bad, but it is imperative to keep in mind that this is all temporary. Don't stop what you're doing, unless it is not pleasing to God, but rather do what you're doing as unto the Lord and do what you're doing in light of eternity.

Suggestion: Take a look and a listen to the lyrics of "Not Home Yet" by Stephen Curtis Chapman.