So, This is Working for My Good, God? Part II

You know when bad times come or there is a death in your family and a friend says, "I'll pray for you" or "You're in my prayers"? Do you ever wonder, what are people saying in their prayers during those times? Are they really praying at all or is it just something nice to say? Is God really listening? Well, I realized that people do indeed pray during those times and I found out just what kind of God I had been serving all these years. I do not know exactly what people were praying, but Matthew 18:20 (KJV) says, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them".  I know for a fact that my mother, my aunt, my brothers, as well as my in-laws were praying for us.  I know that my best friend and her prayer partners were praying for us. I also know that our Sunday School classes (mine and my husband's) were praying for us as well as countless others. So, I know that Jesus Christ was in their presence as they were praying and Romans 8:34 says that He also intercedes for us in prayer. My Savior knew I was seriously struggling with whether or not He was worth serving and so, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to see that while this was an extremely difficult thing to deal with, He still loved me, He had not abandoned me through all of this, and He was (and still is) good!  Our family, friends, church family, and even people we did not know stepped up to be the loving arms of Jesus by taking our kids on play dates, transporting our children to and from their activities, preparing delicious meals ( I must say, these people of the Palouse are some of the most amazing cooks this side of the Mississippi!), sending cards and flowers, making gifts in remembrance of our precious twins, making phone calls, and sharing kind words of encouragement among other things.

My eyes were also opened to another fact. While I do recall experiencing some back pain a couple of days prior to finding out about our twins' passing, I did not experience any cramping or bleeding that would have alerted me that "something was not right". The night before the appointment, my husband was up late trying to complete a take-home exam between vomiting sessions of our middle child, and so we had contemplated not driving an hour and a half to the appointment, by my husband was convinced that we should. My next OB appointment was not scheduled for another 2-3 weeks. Had we not gone to this appointment, my life could have also been in jeopardy as I would have been carrying  lifeless babies in my womb and infection could have set in. . .but praise be to God who was looking out for me. . .looking out for us!  After I was made aware of that, the Holy Spirit continued to show me instance after instance of His goodness.

So, while that was an extremely difficult thing to go through-I miss my babies and I look forward to seeing them one day-He showed me in so many ways (more than I can write about in this post) that He is good and allowing us to experience this loss was indeed for my good. And then 14 months later, He blessed us beyond belief. . .

How's that for God's goodness?! 

O give thanks unto the Lord for He is good, for His mercy endureth for ever. . .Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men!

Psalm 107:1, 21



So, This is Working for My Good, God?

So, it has been exactly one year since my last blog entry. I am certainly not proud of that, but it seems as thought since June 29 of last year, my life suddenly got ridiculously busy. I kind of feel like Beyonce and I have some things n common as we both took the last year off and re-emerged as stronger and more mature women. She traveled the world while I hung out in my town of 9 square miles in Southeastern Washington. Okay, so maybe we are not that similar as the commonalities ended with we took a year off and re-emerged later. But, many of my experience within the last year were enjoyable. Some were devastatingly painful, however, as Romans 8:28 reminds me, they all worked together for my good (my paraphrase).

My husband spent last summer studying for his core exams for his Ph.D. During that time, there seemed to be this huge cloud of uncertainty looming above us regarding our future. Wouldhe pass the exams? If he did not pass, what did the future hold for us? If he did not pass, we figured we would need to move out of our family housing complex, but where would we go? would he get a job in this crazy market? Questions, questions, questions! I must say, though, by the time that he finished taking his last exam, I think we were all relieved that the process was complete . . .whether he passed or not! Then, August 11, the day after he took his final exam, we learned that I was pregnant.

"Really, God??" was my first reaction. While I know that every child is a miracle, to be honest, I was not really in the mood for that kind of miracle. My long lost Uncle Fred leaving me a significant monetary inheritance is more along the lines of the kind of miracle I would have preferred at that moment. I don't really have an Uncle Fred, but you get my drift. I was worried about my ability to care for four children (two of which would be under the age of 2 years, for a short time) while my hubby was still in school (full-time). I concerned myself with what others would say or think, and I know another child would affect us financially as we were already struggling in that area. In short, I was overwhelmed. . . with stuff that really did not matter. After reading and meditating over Psalms 127 and 139, God reminded me that while this was a surprise to me and in my opinion, not perfect timing, He had this in the works all along. Actually, this was perfect timing as that's just how He rolls. I was also reminded that children are blessings. . .period. . .and, that he would give whatever I needed (i.e. a extra large dose of patience) to care for my children. By the way, my husband was not concerned in the least, but was filled with joy and excitement at the thought of expanding our family. He has always wanted a large family. So, imagine our initial reactions when on September 9, we discovered that we were having twins! My husband could not have been more elated. I, however, . . .well, let me just say, I had to go back to Psalms 127 and 139 for a bit of review.

From the time I was a teenager, I had always envisioned my life as a career woman. . .ya know that kind of woman often portrayed as a woman who has it all. But, from the moment I knew we were having twins, it seemed to somehow solidify (for me) God's high calling on my life to be a mom to five precious children. Since I was considered to be high-risk for a number of reasons, we had the privilege of seeing our babies, via ultrasound, grow from "little beans" to little active people with heads, arms, and legs. While still overwhelmed, I felt highly favored by God to be carrying identical twins. At the same time, my husband was researching reviews on double strollers, sharing with me the bedding options for multiples, as well as predicting the gender (poor guy, we may end up having to get him a dog named "Bruiser" or something like that) and the birthdate of our babies.

Sadly, on October 18, we went for a scheduled ultrasound appointment to discover that our precious twins had died. Devastated does not begin to describe what we were feeling. What on Earth was God doing? What happened? How could this have been avoided? Why had God allowed us to get so attached to our babies in just 6 weeks only to take them away from us? Were they boys or girls? Was this a consequence of me not being excited about them in the beginning? Due to the type of twins they were (they shared the same sac with no membrane in between to separate them, otherwise known as "mono-mono" twins), it was easy for them to get caught up in each others' cords. My doctor said that there was nothing we could have done differently to prevent that from happening. At that point, my devastation turned to anger at God. I could not have prevented their deaths, but certainly The God of The Universe could have, but He did not. While I never questioned His existence, I did begin to question the kind of God I had been serving all of these years. . . (to be continued)

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28 NKJV

Prelude to a Final Farewell . . .

The West Side (Seattle/Tacoma/Olympia), China, Jordan, Utah, South Korea, Idaho, Albania, Taiwan, Wyoming, Southwest Washington (Vancouver/Portland), Saudi Arabia, Louisiana, Alaska, and Maryland. Those are just some of the places from which our neighbors in our apartment complex have come.

Nearly three years ago, our family set out on an adventure . . . moving from the Midwest to the Great Northwest. My husband had always wanted to be a professor, but he needed a Ph. D. After much prayer for God to tell us where he wanted us to go, and to be clear in His answer, we discovered that he wanted us in the thriving metropolis of Pullman, Washington (where we had no family or friends)! You know. . .Pullman, Washington, the Lentil Capital of the World?! Don't worry; we didn't know that either until a friend of ours informed us of that before we departed. Anyway, we got here and what a beautiful place! It is a small town of 27,000 that sits on rolling hills. My mom described the scenery as "endless golf courses". While we were able to go home for the Christmas/New Year's holidays a few months after we moved here, and we hoped to go back during the following summer, but our lack of money did not allow it. Little did I know that we were in for a treat. We spent the summer hanging out at the playground directly behind our building. It did have an interesting beginning as it snowed on June 10, 2008 Crazy!! But, I digress. . .

Perhaps hanging out at the playground does not seem that interesting, but it was because it was during those beautiful warm sunny days (with low humidity) that we began forming new friendships. Since Pullman is a small college town, it is very transient in nature. People don't move to the other side of town (like in my hometown), they either move in or move out of Pullman. With that said, it is common to meet people, spend lots of time with them, and then watch them move away just nine months later. Ironically, I posted a blog entry entitled, "This is Not My Home. . ." with regard to that very thing, two years ago almost to the day (June 27, 2008). Anyway, these friendships that we were forming on the playground would prove to be different. You see, many people/families have come and gone, but there has been a core group of us, of different races/nationalities, that arrived around the same time and will be leaving around the same time. This year, summer in Pullman has seemed to get a late start, so it has been difficult to catch up with everyone and what is going on in their lives. It is amazing how it gets so crazy during the school year (with school, work, and snow) that you can actually go weeks and months without ever seeing your neighbor. So, this past Saturday, we were all out and about enjoying the absolutely beautiful weather. Someone threw out the idea of getting together for a potluck-type barbecue this upcoming weekend. What a fantastic idea!! But then a bit sadness came over me because I realized that our time together is winding down. Next summer will prove to be very different as many of us (if not, all) will graduate, find jobs, and move away. The probability of us all settling down in Pullman is pretty much like. . .zero. But what makes my heart ache is that the probability that we will all see each other again is also pretty low. While globalization has taken this world by storm, (and I could be wrong) but I just do not see us all making frequent trips to China, South Korea, Albania, or Saudi Arabia. You know what I mean? So, I'm looking forward to our cookout this coming weekend, but my heart will be a little heavy as I have an idea of what the near future holds.

But, perhaps the cure for this heavy heart of mine is to think rather about how the Lord answered the prayers of my heart in the first place. As an African-American, I believe it is important to spend time with other African-American people, but at the same time, it is also very important to me that my children form friendships with all kinds of people (after all, we are all God's creation). While Pullman is a predominantly Caucasian town, the Lord sent us to our apartment complex that is so diverse, it has been dubbed, "The UN". He answered my prayer!Since He answered that prayer, I know He will answer other prayers. I hope we will all look back on this time together, amidst the stress of class, exams, new additions to our families, poverty, (etc.) as a beautiful and memorable time in our lives. And if we are unable to see each other again, that they will remember our family as one who strived to love them with the love of God.

My Earnest Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for being who You are-Almighty, Sovereign, Holy, Loving, Faithful, Merciful, Gracious, Forgiving, and Awesome, just for starters. Thank You for sending Your Son Jesus to suffer and die for all of my sins. Thank You for waking me up and allowing me to see yet another day. Thank You for Your providence and Your protection. Thank You for my husband, my children, my mom, my dads, my brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, friends, and church family. I realize that I was created for You. I am nothing without You. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit this day. As I read and study Your Word today, please give me understanding, wisdom, and discernment. Please give me all that I need to apply and obey Your Word. I pray that You forgive me of my sin and bring to light any sin I have so that I may lay it at the foot of Your cross, immediately. I pray that as I spend more time with You in Your Word that my heart will become more aligned with Yours-that my heart would break for the things that break Your heart; that Your desires would be my desires; that Your plans would be my plans, and the things that bring You joy would also bring me joy. Finally, I pray that the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control that You show toward me would flow through me to others with whom I come in contact so that they all may know You. May You be glorified in all that I think, say, and do. . . in Jesus' name, Amen.

The Call to Obedience (part II). . .

Recently, I watched a DVD of a church service during which the Pastor and the congregation prayed for/commissioned a small group of men that they are sending off to begin a new ministry. Also, during the service, this group of men shared their very moving testimonies of how the Almighty God changed their lives. While they all had different stories, there was a common thread that ran through all of them. They all had come face-to-face with their sin. They could no longer run or hide from it. Once they did that, they repented of their sin and surrendered all to Jesus, allowing the Holy Spirit to now rule their lives. Ironically, I have rencetly gone through a similar situation. I trusted Jesus Christ for my salvation years ago and I even considered myself to be living for Him. It was not until my entire life (recently) seemed to be falling apart that I cried out to the Lord and He showed me the problem or problems. It was as if He opened my eyes and exposed my sin for what it really was. Again, I have been a Christian for years, but there has always been this battle within me: self-sufficiency and doing my will versus allowing Christ to be Lord over my life and surrendering completely to His will. While I desired deep in my heart the latter, it was the former that often won out. After asking God to search my heart and bring to light the stuff that was not pleasin gto Him, He did exactly that! He brought to light my pride, selfishness, disobedience, and just out and out rebellion. It was like I was blind but then I could see. The Holy Spirit brought me face-to-face with my sin and I could not deny it.

In the early chapters of the book of Ezekiel, the prophet Ezekiel was sent to the children of Israel to warn them of God's wrath and judgement upon them because of their wickedness. Ezekiel did exactly what God told Him to do. He knew the ways of the children of Israel. He had witnessed first hand their worship of other gods, for example. However, in chapter 8, it was as if Ezekiel got a more in-depth look at their sin as God put His Spirit upon Ezekiel and lifted him between earth and heaven to show him the depths of their wickeness. Everytime God would show Ezekiel the abominations of the house of Israel, God would tell him to turn again so that he could see "greater abominations". The impression I got from the Scripture is that to describe these abominations as vile would be putting it mildly, yet the house of Israel was blind to their sin. For the life of them, they could not figure out why God had left them. After showing all of this to Ezekiel, chapter 8 verses 17 and 18 read:

And He said to me, "Have you seen this, O son of man? Is it a trivial think to the house of Judah to commit abominations which they commit here? For they have filled the land with violence; then they have returned to provoke Me to anger. Indeed they put the branch to their nose. Therefore, I also will act in fury. My eye will not spare nor will I have pity; and though they cry in My ears will a loud voice, I will not hear them.

Perhaps you are thinking, "That's good information, Malaika, but what is your point?" My point is this: God loves us and He has generously extended His grace and mercy to us. As I stated in my previous post, He is Holy and therefore, He cannot be in the presence of sin. Many of us, Christians and non-Christians alike, may be blind to the sinful lives we may be living. The sin may run so deep or we may have become so comfortable in our sin, that we do not see it and need God's Holy Spirit to reveal it to us. As a nation, like the house of Israel, we continue in our idolatrous, prideful, rebellious ways and we do not realize how offensive it is to God. We need "His eyes" in order to see and once we do, we must turn from our ways. If we continue in our "abominations",however, I believe God's fury will come upon us-individually and/or collectively.

For those who have ears, hear the call. . .

The Call to Obedience. . .

A few years ago, I was reading (somewhere) about Jim Bakker, the former televangelist who went to prison as a result of the PTL Ministries scandal. Why was I reading about Jim Bakker? I think I was surfin' the Net at work or something like that. But anyway, what I learned was that prior to going to prison, he had never read the Bible in its entirety. It was not until he went to prison that he read the Bible, in its entirety, at least three times. It was then that he realized that many of the things he had preached as leader of PTL Ministries, were incorrect-taken out of context. On one hand, I was shocked! I wondered how many pastors, ministers, ministry leaders (etc.) are out there that have not read the entire Bible. On the other hand, I understood perfectly. At the point that I read whatever it was about Jim Bakker, I had been a Christian for nearly 20 years and I had not once read the Bible in its entirety. I had tried, on a couple of occasions, but I always go stuck (and quit) in Leviticus and Numbers-not the most riveting books of the Bible, in my opinion, but essential in learning about Our Most Holy and Righteous God. So, out of obedience, I have begun again on the journey. I tried reading it in 90 days but I got behind on the second day. I just could not keep up. I am embarrassed to say when exactly I began reading the Bible (all the way through) again because I am not yet finished (and I should be). . .so I won't. BUT, I will say that I successfully made it through Leviticus and Numbers AND with some understanding.

Jim Bakker also mentioned seeing the big picture, in a sense, understanding God's incredible love for us, as a result of reading the entire Bible. I can totally relate to that! The other thing I was amazed about is the level of obedience demonstrated by the men and women of the Bible. From Genesis to Joshua, I was astounded by the leaders' strict obedience to God. So many times I read of God telling a person or a group of persons (i.e. the children of Israel) to do something and they simply did it. "Simply" does not meant that the tasks were simple. I know that working to build the ark for 100+ years was no simple undertaking. Rather, these men (and women) knew it was our Lord God speaking to them, they trusted them, and did what He said without question. Now, that's impressive! Now while I do include Moses in this list of obedient leaders, he did make some mistakes here and there. For example, I had always known that Moses did not get to actually cross over into the Promised Land with the children of Israel as a result of a sin he committed, but I never knew what his sin was exactly. Well, the answer to that question lies in the book of Numbers chapter 20. How ironic is that? Anyway, the children of Israel were in Kadesh and they began to complain (yet again) to Moses and Aaron about the lack of water to drink. Moses and Aaron then fell on their faces and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. Numbers 20:7-12 reads:

Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, "Take the rod; you and your brother Aaron gather the congregation together. Speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water; thus you shall bring water for them out of the rock, and give drink to the congregation and their animals." So Moses took the rod from before the Lord as He commanded him.

And Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock; and he said, "Hear now, you rebels!" Must we bring water for you out of this rock?" Then Moses lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their animals drank.

Then the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not believe Me, to hallow me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them".

Did you get it? Did you catch what Moses' sin was? To be honest, I did not at first. I had to read it a couple of times, and then read it from a different Bible with additional commentary. God told Moses to speak to the rock and then it would yield water. Instead, in frustration and anger, Moses yelled at the children of Israel and hit the rock twice. Since water came out of the rock for the children of Israel and their animals to drink, most would conclude, "all's well that ends well". But that is not the case because he hit the rock (twice) rather than speak to it, as God said, Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land.

Can you believe God did that to Moses after all he had been through with the children of Israel, not to mention all the other times in the past he had indeed obeyed God? Well, at first, I must admit I thought God was a little harsh on ol' Mo. But then I remembered that God is a Holy and Righteous God. He is our Heavenly Father and He commands our obedience, because, hands down, His ways are always best. As with our own children, if they do not obey us, there are consequences for their choices.

I think we have embraced God's message of grace and mercy to a dangerous point that we dismiss His call for obedience. Perhaps you think, as I did at first, "So, Moses hit the rock instead of speaking to it, is it really that deep?" Well, yes it is actually, but the enemy (satan), along with our flesh had done a really good job of desensitizing us to that fact. God is Holy. He does not tolerate nor can He be in the presence of sin. For even God separated Himself (briefly) from Jesus Christ as He bore our sins on the cross.

So, perhaps you are wondering what our next steps should be. First, we need to fall on our faces before the Lord with praise, adoration, and thanksgiving for His incredibly abundant grace and mercy. For it is only by His grace that He has not utterly destroyed us because of our extreme disobedience (personally and collectively) and our lackadasical attitude toward obedience to Him.

Next, repentance is in order. Repent for when you have flat out disobeyed God and did your own thing. Repent for when you have only partially obeyed God, which is really disobedience. Repent for when you have compromised or not taken His Word seriously.

Then, we must pray. Hebrews 4:15, 16 says:

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

We cannot live a Christ-centered life of obedience and submission to God in our own strength. We can only do so with the help of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. Pray that He will give you His strength to be obedient, and He will. John 14:14 says:

If you ask any thing in My name, I will do it.

What an awesome promise for help in living a life totally obedient to God!

Finally, do what He has told you to do. James 1:22-25:

But be doers of the word, and hot hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mierror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.

So, go forth in obedience. . .

I Just Can't Keep It In Any Longer!

Perhaps some of you have been reading my blog and have thought I have become a bit "too preachy" or I have turned into this "religious nut job", or maybe some of you think, "'Bout time. . .she's finally got a clue!". Whatever the case, it's okay . . . I just can't keep it in any longer. What am I talking about? I am talking about God and His goodness. He has been so good to me and I so don't deserve it! For years, he has protected me, provided for me, tolerated my ridiculousness (just to name a few things), and I have just taken Him for granted. My life has been all about me, but no longer. . .I am ready to live wholeheartedly for Him. Why now?? He has shown me how awesome He is and how undeserving I am of His awesome-ness.

If you look back at my blog post from June 8, 2009, you will find a story about how I learned of a blood clot in my right arm during the last few months of my pregnancy. Even as of that date, things could have played out any number of ways, but just seven days later, my baby was born healthy with NO complications! Praise God!! Before I left the hospital to go home, I had another ultrasound of my right arm which showed that the blood clot was still there. It had not moved or changed in any way.

Fast forward to the end of July, I went for my post-partum visit at the doctor's office where (suddenly) I had some kind of near-fainting episode and was experiencing some pain in that right arm again. So, I was told to go the ER. Not sure what the near-fainting thing was about, but the ultrasound of my arm showed that the blood clot was still in my arm. . .unchanged.

About a month later, I go to see a Hematologist. Since I had been told (initially) by my OB to stay on my anti-coagulant medication until 3 months post-partum (September 15), the Hematologist recommended that we wait to do another ultrasound of my arm closer to that date. My ultrasound was set for Friday, September 11. As the that date quickly approached, I began praying earnestly that the clot would go away (the body is supposed to dissolve blood clots, the medicine is supposed to keep the clot from moving to other parts of the body). I was watching The 700 Club at the beginning of the week. This was Labor Day week and the folks at CBN have a concentrated time of prayer during that week of every year. They pray and fast for their ministry, and the needs of other people. They also do it in remembrance of when they first came on the air and just a few hours before, they did not have enough money to come on the air. As a matter of fact, they had missed their original air time due to lack of money. After some intense prayer and fasting, someone made a hefty donation and they were able to air their first show. I know many people are not fans of Pat Robertson, but one has to admit that is a pretty amazing story.

I was moved by that story and decided to pray and fast for healing of the blood clot in my right arm. September 10 was my day to pray and fast. So, these were the Scriptures that I used to pray "back" to the Lord, if you will:

James 5:16b-The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Matthew 17:20, 21- "So Jesus said to them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you ahve faith as a mustard see, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there', and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting."

John 14:13, 14-And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name I will do it.

Ephesians 3:20-Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations , forever and ever. Amen.

During that time, I wondered what if God did not remove the clot. After all, there are many people that I have prayed for who have had cancer, for example, and they died. . .what about that? God does not always do what we ask. Then, what am I trusting Him for? I realized that unlike what many are preaching today, we are trusting God to do what is best for us. I mean, He is the God of the Universe and He created us, so He probably has a really good idea as to what is best for us. See, God's primary desire for us is not necessarily that we get our dream home, get the perfect job, make a six-figure salary, have the perfect marriage with the perfect kids, or be in perfect health. God's primary desire for us is that we become like Christ, His Son. Let me repeat, at the top of God's list for us is for our character to develop into that which is like Christ's. Philippians 2:5 says "Let this mind be in your which was also in Christ Jesus".

The next day, September 11, I went to have the ultrasound of my right arm and the ultrasound tech said that the clot was still there. She went on to say that at that point, it would probably be considered "chronic". It would take a while for it to dissolve if at all. I must admit, I was really disappointed but I praised God anyway. I had prayed and fasted and had others to pray, so I know He heard. I concluded that although I disagreed, He knew this was what was best for me. So, what had I learned? The presence of the clot taught me to number my days, to be appreciative of everything, everyday!! And so none of this was in vain.

The next week,Thursday, September 17, I was laying on my bed. I had just finished feeding my daughter and dozed off. I did too and suddenly, I was startled by not being able to breathe. I could not get any air. . .I was suffocating ( I couldn't even cough)!! And as suddenly as it came on, it went away and I could breathe again. That was incredibly strange, to say the very least. Then, later that evening, I wondered if I should get another ultrasound, but decided I would wait.

Fast forward to Tuesday, November 17, I called the doctor because I had (again) been experience some pain in my right arm, but this time for about four days straight. I even asked for prayer from my Sunday School class two days before. The doctor told me to go to the hospital to get yet another ultrasound of my right arm. This was another ultrasound tech and I asked her if she could see the clot because I was having trouble seeing it. She said, " I don't see anything. . .but we still have some more veins to go". When she was done, she said, "All of your veins are open. . .there is no clot there. " Oh my goodness, I was amazed. . .to say the very least! I shared the news with my husband, my mom, and one of my brothers, and a couple of friends, but I was really waiting on the "official" report from the Radiologist. Two days later, I got confirmation. The clot was GONE! I don't know about you, but I KNOW God healed me of that clot. Perhaps you think it just dissolved, but let me ask you this: what is the likelihood of that clot dissolving in two months when I had had ultrasounds every month since I was diagnosed with it in March and each showed that the clot had been unchanged? Well, I'll tell you. . .it didn't dissolve. God allowed the blood clot that was in the brachial vein of my right arm to pass into my lungs (causing me to suffocate) and then away WITHOUT killing me. I went to see my doctor for a follow-up appointment on December 1 and she checked my lungs (the clot was not there). She told me that I could discontinue using the medication. If the clot were in any other part of my body, it would certainly cause more problems, but I am fine. God has healed me and I didn't deserve it!! But then, I've never deserved anything that He has ever done for me. Understanding that, I realize that my life is not my own. . .I am here to do whatever God created me to do. While I don't know everything He has for me to do, but I do know that whatever I do, it is to bring glory to Him. . .'cause He does deserve it. So, my hope is that this story (and this entire blog, for that matter) will encourage you, draw you near to Him and most of all, bring Him glory!!

May God shower His glorious blessings upon you all!